Monthly Archives: April 2008

He’s just such a good boy…

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So I took him to Disneyland for his 13th birthday.

Our trip came just after he’d earned his first straight A report card, so he even had his own spending money… not that it matters much at the most expensive place on earth :)

We had so much fun, wandering around and seeing everything Disney, playing on some rides, shopping a little, and even seeing some shows. My favorite was Aladin, which is actually a show put on in the California Adventure park. I’m not sure Alex could narrow down a favorite, but he really loved Star Tours.

He wanted Sushi for dinner on his birthday, and we went over to the third Disney hotel, Paradise Pier and had Sushi in their Japanese restaurant. It was fairly good, though the best part was the edamame, which doesn’t say much for the sushi. Nothing sounded very good on the dessert menu and we wanted to make it back in time for the fireworks. We were about to leave when our waitress brought this out…

We saw the fireworks, and went back to crash in our room, which was about a 20 mile hike from the park… :) Our next day out we decided to do some shopping… which resulted in us trying on all the hats so that Isabelle & Aubrey could see them all.

I tried one more on… and I am still kicking myself for not buying it…

A perfect opportunity for a Halloween costume…squandered. It was a little pricey, but still, I should have just bought it… Which means another trip to Disneyland… so that $40 gem would actually have ended up being a great bargain, if I’d only bought it… Ugh :)

So many priceless moments… and such a wonderful joy to stop and smell the flowers with my beautiful son. It was absolutely worth twice what it cost, though I wish I could have taken him longer because it was so much fun!

He made Isabelle a bear at Build-a-Bear, which was both hysterically funny and so thoughtfully sweet at the same time. You truly know you’ve done a good job when your teenage son insists on getting his sister what she wants most, even if it means standing in line with a dozen 3,4, and 5 year old monsters while they make you create the bear with love. He even did the washing and picked out nice clothes for it. What a guy.

We rode the teacups! My favorite! We even videotaped it, and if I can figure it out, I’ll put it on here too!

We found absolute HEAVEN at ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney. The sweetest man led us to the recliner section, where they have tables at your arms and big overstuffed leather recliners. They fed us divine food (Grilled chicken, cheesy-garlic mashed potatoes and spicy-buffalo chicken wings-sigh-) at 11 pm complete with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies & ice cream for Alex’s birthday, which satisfied the mom in me that was feeling horribly about him eating a Mickey Mouse orange sculpture for his 13th birthday cake.

We even braved the huge roller coaster in California Adventure, California Screamin’, and LIVED (we are the family chickens)! We were both terrified when we got up to the front, and when they saw Alex’s birthday button they put us right up front, we were in number 2! It was a fantastic ride, and we would have gone again if we didn’t already have barely enough time to make it to the airport for our flight. We’d missed the shuttle, and would have to take a taxi to make it :) Yippeee!! Nothing like making the most of it to the last second!

Sigh… Our last attempt at a picture together, complete with our new sunburns! Thank heavens for the eye-brow wax before we left :) Our trip was such a whirlwind 3 days that I wish I could steal him away for 3 days a month from here on out. He’s such an interesting kid, and so caring and empathetic. I am so proud of him, and so amazed at how big and grown up he is. I’ve always been overprotective of him, but he’s such a strong and capable young person that I already feel myself relax when it comes to trusting he’ll be just fine.

When I found out I was pregnant with Alex I knew it was going to change everything forever, and I knew everything would be just fine. I had an inner peace about the whole thing that I can’t explain, and I knew in my soul from the second I knew he was coming, that he was meant to be. I knew it would be a whole new life, in a whole new direction, with new purpose. I never dreamed it possible to be this fun, and never imagined for a second that I’d have such a wonderful son.

My cup runneth’ over.

Perhaps I’m just… obsolete?

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I’m feeling…well…old. Maybe not old. Unhappy? Disenchanted? Frustrated?

My son just turned 13…and though I’m far younger than most at such an occasion, I feel a little, out of step? My well-planned life has been hi-jacked, so to speak, and nothing is what I thought it’d be.

So I’ll indulge… though I shouldn’t because it certainly won’t help.

At this point I would have had 3 children, at 13, 8 & 3… I miss that three old I was supposed to have and didn’t. I miss her/him regularly. I suppose it wouldn’t have been right to insist on his/her coming into our lives just two years after my ex and I got divorced… but there’s a greater part of me that wishes I’d stuck to my “plan”.

I took the best three day trip with my magnificent son, and it just reminded me honestly of how much I lose when he goes every other week. Somehow the sorrow of watching my children grow up so fast is enhanced by the fact I automatically lose half of their lives. I treasure the wonderful relationship with my dear ex husband,( though I know many people may not understand that statement) and wish sometimes we’d been less responsible and had more kids, lol :) We always were responsible, at least, and we have such wonderful kids as a result. I suppose I’m just feeling life pass me by, in a situation that offers no possibilities and no future as far as expanding my family, or even just being open to more…

sigh.

in a nutshell, I’m desperately sad and gravely disappointed.

To my dear baby girl, on your eigth birthday.

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Dearest Girl,

I tucked you in again just before I sat down to write, as if to squeeze just a couple more minutes of your seven-ness in. You were wildly outstretched in your big bed, all long lanky arms & legs. I kissed you on the forehead and you smelled like strawberries and coconut lip gloss. You had glitter on your lips and a million freckles on your cute nose, and I had to sit and look at you for a while. I can’t help but miss your infancy, but from the day you were born I’ve felt like the luckiest mom in the world.

You were born on a Sunday night, thankfully past the first of April (I had begged you to stay in one more day, thinking of you forever having to endure April Fool jokes on your special day.) and you came into our family peacefully and quickly. You were born at 9:34 PM, and I spent the rest of the night just marveling at your perfection. You had the longest thinnest feet, and the longest little fingers. Perfect little bow tie lips and ears so pink and tiny they resembled seashells. I am still certain I won the baby jackpot.

So as I tuck you in tonight, this last night of your seventh year, I’m struck at the differences at first, then the similarities. Your feet are so long now too…but so BIG! I have to look at both of them after being shocked at seeing the first. Gone are the chubby little baby feet we used to play “This Little Piggy” with. They’ve grown so much since the first time I saw them, and again I’m a little sad. It’s all gone by so quickly, and it’s all been so wonderful.

I pull your covers up and you half smile at me… you’re such a sweet sweet girl. You write me the nicest notes, and you’re so thoughtful of everyone. Your first thought when you have extra of anything is of how you can divide it amongst the people around you. You never think about keeping everything for yourself, you generally give more away than you get to keep. I am so proud of the girl you are, and so confident of the woman I know you’re growing to be.

You still have that same gorgeous red hair that grew in like a fiery display of what-was-to-come when you were 7 months old. Your eyebrows still get red when you get mad. You make every single day better in the lives of everyone who knows you, and the world is a better place because you love everyone so thoroughly.

So I write to say Happy Birthday, My Sweet Ruby Rooster, on your 8th birthday. Though its bittersweet to watch you grow up, it’s such an unending joy to be your mom that I forget just how fast time flies! I know I flubbed your birthday verses & poems tonight, but alas, your mom is a crybaby, and I could just about guarantee that I’ll cry a little each year you grow older :) Have a wonderful, fantastic, marvelous, spectacular birthday, I love you so much! xo Mom