Mr. Flintstone…

Who knew how liberating it could be to embrace every single fabulous inch of your sexuality? After getting out of a long term relationship I think it can be hard to remember what it was to be… you. There’s nothing like a solid reminder.

Remember what you used to be? Just you? Without the oppression of a partner you don’t want to be with anymore? Without the guilt- or the obligation?  Just you- whatever you want to be?  A fresh start, a clean slate.The opportunity to change your life. To be happy 🙂 I have a few suggestions for my favorite girls… my favorite women.

Shave… put on a dress, wear heels, lipstick,  perfume. Exercise the many blessings of being born a girl. I admit I’m ultra feminine- while being quite capable with power tools (with the exception of the circular saw- which scares the shit out of me 🙂 ) I’d be so damn mad if all I had were different variations of solid & striped shirts to choose from. We get pink- and polka dots… rhinestones and cute little strappy back dresses with matching strappy shoes. Fishnet thigh highs and lace up corsets. Lingerie for days… in any and every color we want. Men have the most pathetic assortment of lingerie. Boxers? Tighty-Whiteys? Or cute little elephant trunk cock stocking. Choices, choices.

You can approach any new opportunity fearfully- bound by insecurities born of your past- or you can just live it. After all- do you think you will regret the things you did or the things you were too afraid to do?

I went for it… Jumped in with both feet… and learned a few lessons.Because after all- I never do anything the easy way… and what fun would it be if there weren’t a few painful lessons in there too? Pain isn’t always bad.

1. You determine the value people place on you. If you accept anything- they offer you less. If you respect yourself and expect more- people either give it to you or they don’t bother you to begin with. Phenomenal way to meet great people and a hell of a way to weed out the assholes, if you ask me. Just be aware that if you lower your expectations- you are going to suffer a little… it’s only natural. The same thing happens when you raise them. It pisses off the people accustomed to taking advantage of you.

2. It’s important to recognize when you’re jumping WAY outside of your norm. There are consequences- chances are you will not have the heart for some of it- which isn’t a bad thing. It’s OK to be sensitive- and it’s really really ok to be a little regretful when reality hits. Roll the dice if you will – but know there’s a cost for rolling them. Go ahead and cry about it… tears are healthy- call me if you need a shoulder – I’ll understand.

3. Embrace your inner slut- she’s a hell of a lot of fun and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m not encouraging you to run out and be one- just embrace her- and let her spice up your life a little. Don’t get carried away- there’s nothing at all attractive about a girl that gets around and I think if you run out of digits to count your conquests- you need to slow your roll.  I can still count mine on my fingers, thankyouverymuch.

4. If it sounds like a bad idea, and it feels like it’s probably a bad idea… it might actually be the best idea you ever had. 🙂 It may hurt at some point- but trust me… it may be very very worthwhile at other times. Roll those dice… blame me.You won’t ever regret it- I promise.

5. You are a girl- your mama’s baby. Be gentle with your heart- and remember that girlie feelings are ridiculous to navigate and more fragile than butterfly wings- there’s no right answer, and we all feel insecure. Damn Cosmopolitan. We all need 20 new tips to wow a man, every month? Seriously? I’m confident in my game- they can keep those scary emaciated boy-girls. I love a woman with thighs and I don’t bat for both teams. Nothing is attractive about a hungry woman. Love your body- love yourself.

6. Ride it like you stole it. You only live once. Make it count. 😛

3 thoughts on “Mr. Flintstone…

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