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The clincher.

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This crush on Mr. Flintstone has me preoccupied… so I’ve decided this whole internet dating fiasco is pointless. I’d rather be happily single than consider pathetic replacements.  Dammit…ignorance IS bliss. 🙂

I can’t imagine what I was ever thinking… accepting so little, for 7 years. I’m delighted because I remember that it can be  really really good. Better than I imagined. 🙂

If I’ve learned one thing from internet dating, it’s that being alone is really pretty fun. Hanging out with a weirdo is just awful, no matter what. When you consider the two, I’d rather dance alone naked to Madonna in my living room… than be spoiled rotten by a lame guy. I want an amazing man. Someone funny, & cute…with big feet. Thoughtful… with a nasty imagination. The man who ruins a brand of cologne for me… because I can’t ever smell it again without thinking about him. That guy.

Not exactly what you see on Match.com… huh? So… I’m done. I went in to close the whole thing out today, and had another email…

Oh Miss Cupcake Beautie,

Please write too me lol. Are you nervous? I been tryin to think what to say about going out. I hope you don’t think i’m lame but got a dui back in nov. I got my license back n everything but my punishment is 60 days of electronic home monitoring. Means I can’t really go anywhere but takin kids to school n grocery shoppin n stuff. I have a little gps bracelet on my ankle that tracks me for another 4 weeks ugh. You probaly think i’m a loser now n won’t ever talk to me again lol but am honest to a fault. Just made a bad choice to drive home from a friends bday party. I haven’t even drank in 5 weeks now not sure if I will again am pretty happy n real healthy just taking care of kids when I have them n home life. Wow i’m writin a book sorry lol. Anyway I have nice home n am very good cook if you wanted to meet me here. Otherwise we’ll have to wait a few weeks if you think you can lol. I’ll give you my phone n email if you’d rather talk that way or if not thats ok too.  Hope to hear from you soon n tell me what you think of whole thing k? TTYS. Steven

I’d cry if I wasn’t laughing so hard. Just when you need it the most, God sends you confirmation that you’re making the right choice. Who the hell gets on the internet to date when they’re on house arrest?  I give the guy points for being honest… but where do you go from there? Yeah… I’ll be the idiot who goes to the home of a stranger I met on the internet for our first date, because he can’t leave due to his “electronic monitoring device”.

I’ve officially heard it all… and seen it all… and consequently…

I want it all. None of which is at Steven’s house. 🙂

3 responses »

  1. he he he… no it looks like its NOT at steven´s…

    that was pretty funny. I will give you the one that made me lose my faith on match.com

    – so what is your name
    – silvia
    – how long have you lived in Norway?
    – around 9 years
    – l see… so how do you feel about anal sex?
    – …
    – are you there?
    – eh… l think not anymore…

    (first conversation)

    Mr. right sure comes from some other place…

    🙂

    Reply
  2. Maldenado Rivera

    I browse a lot of blogs, but no one as good as your blog.

    Reply

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