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Bad choice of words & pervert of the day- Bonus Points!

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If it wasn’t already a fabulous & sun-shiny day?

I have a contender for the worst email EVER in my internet dating adventure.

Go ahead and laugh a little- it’s so bad it’s good.

Can you keep up with me?

Hey hot farm girl, WOW! I’m into health myself. What are you growing to feed me? I’m a bit further than 50 miles but sometimes you just gotta get out of your own solar system to find your steller fire! Are we having fun yet! Let me know what I have to do to fit into your orbit.

Lunar

I’m actually not kidding. No exaggeration- his name is Lunar.

My ex chose to change his name from Brett- to Solar.

The night I met Flintstone at the 219’er my ex came walking in (welcome to MY life). Flintstone laughed and introduced himself as “Lunar”after my sister told him my ex’s name was Solar.

If only this email were a joke from Flintstone… but no… the guys name really is Lunar.

He’s also 47 years old, Hairy Italian  and 6’7”  …um…that’s like dating an NBA player, without the hot black part.

Bummer.

He lives in Montana which, again, is never going to happen purely because they have even more snow than we do. Ugh- I hate the cold. I hate the snow. I want sun- sand- and a reason to be in bikini shape year round. I want gardenias in my flower garden. A pomegranate tree… a giant Meyer Lemon. Desperately- some day.

He’s 47, never been married and doesn’t have kids. See the flashing red lights? Bad, bad news. Any man that makes it as a single man that far in life is either non-committal or your garden-variety nightmare. Ick. Give me a crazy ex-wife any day- nothing is crazier than a guy over 40 who hasn’t been married. No kids? No thanks. Which is completely unfair because my kids loved the guy I dated who didn’t have kids- but then there are exceptions to every rule.

The kiss of death? (as if there needs to be one at this point)

This is what it says on his profile:  I read a lot of metaphysical/spiritual stuff along christian biblical lines

Another scary weird overly-confident old man stepping up to the plate.

Thanks…

Somehow 40 sounds a lot less exciting after you’ve seen 20…

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