Calidreamergirl… have I got the date story for you (maybe our dates are brothers?)
Keith is a respiratory therapist in the next city over. I talked to him for a week before our first date. I love smart men- so I was really excited.
We agreed to meet at the Wine Seller, one of my favorite restaurants in Coeur d’ Alene. I went about 10 minutes early so I could have a glass of wine before he got there to calm my first date nerves.
6 o’clock came and went…. without Keith.
I’d told them when I came in that I was meeting an internet date… and they’d agreed to help me out if it was horrible. At this point they were watching the clock with me….
The nice older man to my left turned and winked at me,
G- My name’s George…Can I buy you a glass of wine?
J- Sure… I think I’ve been stood up for the first time.
M- Sweetheart unless he’s bleeding on a stretcher, he’s blown it.
At this point I realize I have to eat something or I’m going to be sitting here forever before I can make the 40 minute drive home. My new friend has been banished by his wife & her friends for ladies night at their house. We decide to eat together at the bar.
Half way through my burger I see a man come running down the stairs and in the door. I realize it’s Keith…my date.
He sees me and comes rushing over. I try to chew & swallow as fast as humanly possible, wondering if I’m even expected to have this awkward moment considering he’s 2 hours late.
George starts laughing.
G- This should be good.
J- Um… Hi. Forget something?
K- Sorry, I was having dinner with my mom. I didn’t think you were actually going to show up.
G- Sorry son, but she’s my date now.
He’s eye level with me and I’m sitting on a stool at the bar. Not just a little short.
Oh boy- there’s nothing like a little Napoleon complex to spice up your life.
He sits down next to me and starts saying ALL THE WRONG THINGS.
K- I just finished Ann Coulters new book, have you read it? I brought it in case you were interested.
J- The blond idiot Ann Coulter? Wow. Actually when it comes to the KKK and Ann Coulter- I begin to question the right to free speech.
K- Don’t say that- I love her.
J- Confirmation that we’re not meant to be.
K- Well here’s the book- maybe you’ll change your mind after you read it.
The man literally brought me a copy of my least favorite woman on earth’s new book.
WTF? Ever heard of flowers, slick? Especially when you’re HOURS late.
Which is when this very bad date, took a sour note.
J- Are you kidding me? Let me be perfectly clear. The fact that you’re two hours late, only confirms I’m right about Republicans. The fact that you’re carrying that book around? Confirms you’re an idiot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m having a nice date with George.
and there ya have it. The beginning of my list of rules.
1. NO CONSERVATIVES. EVER.
2. No smokers. Yuck. I love to kiss- and don’t lick ashtrays. Double Yuck.
3. No boys that live with their parents. Uck.
4. No religious zealots. I love passionate men… when they focus that energy on me.
the list goes on and on at this point… it’s no wonder I’m single. 🙂