The Bad Boy Habit

My girlfriend said it best last night…

G- I told him if he wanted you to like him, he just needed to treat you like shit.

J- Hey at least my friends know the rules.

There you have it. I’m a glutton for punishment. The original nice girl that loves bad boys.

How tragic.

I have several nice guys begging to eat the crumbs out of the palms of my hands… and I could not be less interested. Actually if I’m going to be verrrrrry honest… I torture them a little.

I don’t return calls. I leave while they’re in the bathroom. I go straight from perfect girlfriend to your worst nightmare within the blink of an eye. I don’t play hard to get.

I’m impossible to capture.

With one very tragic exception….

Be evasive. Forget our plans. Lie to me. Exploit my weaknesses… but…. every once in a while… blow my mind. Surprise me. Shock and awe me with your lesser known skills. Keep me on my toes, guessing…

and you can absolutely disregard me and I’ll wait patiently until you remember I’m alive.

So so so sad. So pathetic… and so unbecoming an adult woman as capable as I happen to be.

He’s interested in too much… or too many. He could remember, he just refuses to make the effort. He’s silent when you wonder what he’s thinking. He calls when you least expect it. One smug knowing look and all is forgiven. You can’t get enough because you never do. He’s in the back of your mind all day because you never know what’s going on.

He’s me…. with a penis.

Perhaps I’m looking for a taste of my own karma. I certainly deserve it for the broken nice-boy hearts in my wake. I can’t handle sustained attention. Actually I’m quite good at handling it.

I’ve been trained by the best.

If it’s anything my bad boy habit has taught me, it’s how to wash my hands of something I don’t want.

Pacify them for a minute so they don’t hate you publicly. Smile at them, be so sweet… and ignore the fuck out of them until they pick up the poor broken pieces of their heart and move on.

At a certain point, out of sight, out of reach and out of your league is simply that….


Everyone gets to a point they can’t take it anymore. Everyone gives up eventually.

I need a 12 step program to kick this very bad habit of mine.

Or a really cute bad boy to remind me why it’s worth it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s