Artificially Scented

I have a certain penchant.

I like my men artificially scented.

He should smell like a dude. He should smell so good I lean in closer, close my eyes and let my mind wander.

Smell so good you give me goosebumps.

Calvin Klein? No.

Polo? No…

Mmmm Dolce & Gabana… Oh yes.

Versace? Armani? Yes, Yes, YES!

If he smells like a crisp new dress shirt folded and waiting patiently at Nordstrom for just the right beautiful man?

I’m sold…. along with that shirt because the only thing better than a man that smells good? Is one wearing a tie while he’s doing it.

I’ve done my time in hippieville. I’ve smelled enough patchouli. I’ve prayed for the man in my life to wear deodorant, nevermind all the dozens of bottles of cologne I bought him.

They’re still in the cupboard in my bathroom.

I’m not a fan of cheap knock-off cologne. Ever. Spend a little to slay me with the way you smell, it’s a good investment.

Because when you smell good? I’m inspired.

Inspiration is priceless, right boys?

Generally it takes quite the man to impress me. I have a laundry list of things I love (and hate)…

If it’s so easy as spraying cologne on before you pick up the hive to shake it… doesn’t it make sense to arm yourself the best you can?

Be smart. Choose where you’d like to get stung.

Take some time, smell them all… and pick one you love, because if you love it, I’m sure I will too…. and if you love it? You’ll put it on ALL the time…

Which makes me a very happy girl, indeed.

Intoxicate me with how good you smell. Change my mind.

Shave, stun me with your cologne… and button yourself into a dress shirt & tie…

Then enjoy the show… because you just won the girlfriend lottery.


I had a customer last night lean across the counter to tell me his order because it was so loud… and the most amazing cologne hit me right between the eyes. I grinned at him and he laughed.

D- What?

J- You smell amazing.

D- Thanks!

Wow… I’m not even kidding. It was like a cloud of hot man descended around me and suddenly he was ten times cuter. An olfactory blessing on my hardest night at work…. and I’m only too happy to order a burger for him.

And he was only too happy to leave his number on the receipt… LOL

Go shopping, gentlemen…do your part to make the world smell amazing…

and I’ll do my best to prove it’s worth your while.

2 thoughts on “Artificially Scented

  1. It’s funny you mention this…I wear cologne every day without miss..but I choose 2 different types that have served me well over the years…

    John Vavartos in the black leather wrapped bottle…& Van Cleef and Arpel’s TSAR….they smell devine and most guys wear cheap crap, but not this man…i make girls lean in and ask what I’m wearing… I love it when they get close to sneak a better smell…don’t worry, i don’t spoil their efforts by trying to notice them doing it… after i spot them doing it, I know I have planted the seed… I just need to give the seed a little time…I’ll just let her thoughts simmer while I wait to pounce to deliver why she should join me for dinner…dessert? fuck yes…in the form of sheet grabbing sex…


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