Chat Pack

My Delicious bestie is working constantly. I miss him 😦 The last time I hung out with him, he was working. Sitting on the bar was a tiny box of little note cards labeled Chat Pack.

I read mine out loud to Delicious and we both burst out laughing. The irony of pulling that card out on that particular day, didn’t escape either of us.

D- OH SHIT. There’s your blog. Go write it.

The card I pulled out says:

If you could be the spokesperson for any product on the market, which product would you choose to enthusiastically represent?

Ladies and gentlemen…. behold. A miracle is born. Turn the clocks back on your man!  Send him all the way back to high-school capable. Not only does it liberate a man from obsessing about it, it shakes the earth a little when he doesn’t need it. Keep a hydro on hand in that case because you’re going to suffer a few personal consequences when you arm the already well armed.

Delicious and I talked about it.

D- Oh my GOD. 20 mg? I only took that once and I was hard for a week. I couldn’t think of anything else, it was torture.

J- Tell me about it. I should be pushed around in a wheelchair today.

It more than aids them with their equipment, it literally turns them into a high school boy again.

Because if you think you’re happy he has an erection? He’s ten times happier than you could imagine.

Brace yourself, if you choose to arm your soldier.

You are in for the night of your life…and a full body hangover.

Gentlemen, run- don’t walk… and set yourself free. The side effects are minimal considering the immediate rewards. Why bother with worrying about it. Arm yourself. You’ll be glad you did.

I brought it back from Mexico for the Dirty Boat Thief after a year of equipment failure. It was his souvenir. Once he tried it, he was hooked. I’m still a little bummed I urged him to try it. I’d be delighted if I knew he was struggling with equipment failure right now. De-fucking-lighted. Oh well… I had to put an end to my suffering, I couldn’t take him freaking out about it anymore and it was fantastic to be successful intimately again.

That little yellow pill will set a man free- while blowing his thankful partner straight out of the water.

What’s not to love?

Unless you’re one of those poor women who doesn’t like her partner… and is damn thankful he can’t. In that case- there’s absolutely no chance I can convince you to change your mind.

I’d rather convince you to change your partner. Life is too short to hate having sex. Truly.

Every girl deserves a man she’d want to medicate…

Even just for the fun of it.

4 thoughts on “Chat Pack

    1. It was earth shattering- I wont lie. One of my friends said to me later “I remember seeing you the next day and you were just stunned and quiet. Not laughing. Not talking. Not moving much. You lucky woman!” but on a real note… it didn’t change anything. He’s irresistible.

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