He’s back!!!

Pouring a million and one beers while pasting a smile on my face, isn’t easy. I’m gloomy… heartbroken even.

I look up… and in a flash of light blue, my favorite man walks back into my (every other) least favorite night at work.

Along with the smile I’d lost.

This man… this perfect example of what I’d order if I could hand design the ideal man.

He’s clean cut, clean shaven… and he smells like heaven. Just standing across from him makes me want to buy stock in Gillette. Every man should be this edible. This man can dress me into submission, ironed collars, neckties… fuck… I could watch him get dressed every day and not get bored.

Or better yet?


He’s dangerously smart, and can turn me on simply by talking to me. He starts dropping big words and my clothes fall off. Oops. His text messages are like personalized porn because his spelling makes me weak in the knees. Punctuated even, gulp.

He’s the very definition of my type, and my very favorite man to kiss.

He’s not well rounded, he’s the real deal. The whole package. Great dad and all.

My two favorite customers have teased me about my Smartypants crush for months… after he went missing in March. Gone. Vanished. Exponentially increasing the suffering of what’s already my least favorite night at work. I gave up looking for him about a month ago… we talk about him every Tuesday and this is no exception.

R- Oooh this is Smartypants night.

J- No… he’s gone. He never came back.

R- He’s crazy, the chemistry is tangible.

J- Hush, you’re killing me. I tried- but thanks- that’s a compliment.

I look up….and the man walks in…. and I’m beaming… and my friends turn… and start laughing.

R- Smartypants is BACK.

His friend immediately teases me, because it must be written all over my face.

A- Well, well, look at that smile. Where’s mine?

J- Sorry, I have a favorite, I can’t lie.

He’s smiley gorgeous…. and losing trivia!


I look at him sideways and he starts laughing. I’m so ridiculously attracted to him it’s embarrassing.

There’s only one Smartypants, and he does NOT lose trivia.

J- Uh oh… I might have to rename you?!?!

He laughs… and ends up winning.

Be still my heart.

IF only they were all Smartypants… but they’re not- and I’m delighted to see him again.

Walking across the street in the balmy warm summer rain after work, thankful for the reminder that the last miserable month isn’t the first thing on my mind anymore.

He may as well have walked in wearing nothing but frosting and carrying lit candles.

Happy Birthday to Me.

3 thoughts on “He’s back!!!

    • Ha ha ha ha ha… Thank you! I hoped someone would call me out!

      Smartypants is in a class all his own. Not only is the guy absolutely hot… he’s smarter than me. He mentions my grammatical errors on my blog. It’s knife to the heart delicious infatuation.

      I was actually seriously contemplating dating a woman- just to see if perhaps I’m just retarded and hadn’t realized I’m a lesbian… so God sent every jerk from here to Alaska to me…. to show me…

      Then I looked up and saw him….

      … and all my good intentions went flying out the door.. …along with a few articles of clothing.


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