Smartypants Wins!

I’ve bragged about my Mr. Bestie before… but seriously… he really outdid himself tonight.

I took the night off from trivia… to play. Why not? It changes your perspective when you experience it as a customer, I have a blast with him and it’s Smartypants week. Mr. Bestie & Smartypants together are unbeatable. Well… tie-able at least.

I went in knowing it might be a little odd… but hell… I’m not afraid of much anymore and taking myself out of the pool flips a switch in my mindset. I’m unavailable. Friendly and sweet as always, and yeah… I’ve always had a huge weakness for Smartypants…


I’m done being treated like a disposable razor.

It was fun, he’s beautiful and I love almost everything about him. There’s nothing to complain about… but the guy is more than a little pompous and he hasn’t been…. well… anything really remotely close to fun, in a very long time.

He was chastising me for telling one of his co-workers about my blog…. Mr. Bestie sat down next to me and grinned…. then leaned over and smiled at him.

B- How’s it going, SmartyPants?

I nearly fell off my fucking stool. Laughing. Blushing… and ultimately I got up and fled. OH MY GOD. I walked back in and sat down. Facing my music. Laughing in the face of horror. I have Mr. Bestie by my side… I’m not afraid of the fallout, hell I’m getting used to this shit.

He took it all in stride, as he always does, when Mr. Bestie starts laughing next to me…

B- Should our team name be SmartyPants?

J- Ha ahhhha hhhaaaa…. Yes.

I watch him write it on the 7 slips of paper and love him so much. This is why he’s my Bestie-guy. He could give a shit less what some guy thinks or says. He’s all about standing up for me and even better? He’s all about making it fucking funny. He’s the guy who defends my honor in a way that reminds me it’s ok to just be me. I really am enough. I really am cool. He thinks so, so it must be. He’s in my corner like I’ve never had someone be.

We’re split into two teams and we are half way through the first round when Smartypants smiles at me…

SP- Let’s just be on one team?

J- To make up for you being afraid to play Words with Friends with me?

SP- I’m not playing Words with Friends.

J- I understand you’re intimidated, I’d just love to beat you.

SP- You wouldn’t beat me.

J- Yes, I would.

I know Mr. Bestie has named our team Smartypants… but…. Smartypants does not know this when he joins forces with us. Miss Perfection is laughing and cringing right along with me.

The score screen pops up after the first round and there we are… tied for second… Team SmartyPants.


SmartyPants doesn’t really think so but he’s taking it all in stride. Mr. Bestie is laughing..

B- Fuck I wish I had a camera right now, that was awesome. The look on your face was priceless.

J- Oh my that was funny.

Not only is he defending me in his own way and with so much respect to how I feel… it’s fucking hysterically funny.

Every single time I see it up there, I can’t help but laugh. I needed this. I needed someone to swoop in and remind me that it doesn’t always have to be me in the hot seat. It’s ok to pass the torch and Smarty’s crazy if he doesn’t expect to deal with a few jabs from people who love and respect the woman he didn’t.

But the best part? Is that we tied for first… three ways… and I have the cutest little gift card, written out to SmartyPants. He didn’t want it.

SP- That’s not something I want to claim.

J- Good. It’s coming with me…

A quick hug for Mr. Bestie and I’m out the door to meet a girlfriend, laughing all the way. So happy. Lonely- yeah… but not really if that makes any sense. I’m surrounded by too many incredible friends to ever really be lonely.

I refuse to be defined by having a man in my life… and frankly… I have everything I need.

I. Am. Happy.

I. Am. Satisfied.

I. Am. A. Changed. Woman.

One too many times being treated like shit. One too many times settling for a douche bag when I deserve a Prince. I’m laughing about it and reading an email from my favorite man on earth when I walk in to meet Miss Fearless and see The Vagina Hoarder standing there.



I’m not sure what is more offensive. That he can talk about me to my friends and not walk up and just fucking apologize like a man, to my face- or that he ever even thought it was a good idea in the first place to fuck with me.

Either way it stings but I’ll die before I show it. Laugh a little louder. Smile a little brighter…. and watch him run out the back door like the chicken shit he really is.

Bitchy confession? It makes me laugh. I feel smug. I’m incredibly happy knowing I’m not one of the many vaginas he has in rotation and at the very least? If you’re going to be a whore? Own it. Admit it. Apologize when you hurt someone.

Better yet?

Pull a SmartyPants. Face the music head on and smile. Be gracious. Be a man… and before you know it?

You may someday be half the man Mr. Bestie is.

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