A fellow blogger of mine mentioned that she was going to try internet dating again.
Sigh… nothing will ever cure some of the damage of internet dating. It was a wild ride, that’s for sure. I came away from it with a few lessons.
1. It’s totally and completely unnatural. You cannot feign interest and when you are attracted by the best three pictures some dude has of himself? You are in for quite the shock when you actually arrive to your date. Forced intimacy is never comfortable. They ALL tried to touch me. Eeek.
2. Sex was out of the question for me, but I figured out pretty quickly that it was what people were using internet dating for. I was the exception, because most of them were simply building a booty call database. I never had sex with a single one of them. Ever.
3. They’re weird… but then I hand picked the weirdest guys at the end of my online dating stint, purely for the material. I’ve seen it all- and there are some weird guys out there. If you think your immediate pool of options seems dismal? Go look at your online menu… but do it with a glass of wine and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s… because you are about to lose a little more faith. I live in a small town and it’s depressing.
I gave it up- because it was only making me jaded and depressed…. but the mere mention of it made me curiously wander over to one of the sites I’d registered on ages ago… only to realize it was still active, LOL.
There are emails from the last six months. Some so funny, most so awkward… and mostly grating on my last bitchy nerve.
D- Ur hot. Do u want to kick it?
Good Lord, don’t even get me started. The reality of me is that I am goddamn picky when it comes to men. They have to be smart. I can’t date anyone who’s dumb. They have to want to spell YOU out in it’s entirety. It’s one of those pet peeves of mine, I suppose.
They run the full gamut… and then I get to the last one.
OG-Hi again, we’ve messaged a few times on this site before. At least I have messaged you. I still have a crush on you, lol. Wish you were a little older or (more accurately) I was a lot younger. You just sound like “my kind o’ gal,” which naturally I mean as a compliment even if you don’t know me from Adam’s house cat. So anyway, hope your life is going well; I envy you the tomatoes. Good luck, and you’re ever in Spokiedokie, would love to offer you a cuppa.
He’s 64 and I realize I sound like a total bitch, but he’s nearly 10 years older than my mother. I guess what I ultimately came away with was that internet dating teaches you to settle for the list in front of you, instead of just living your life knowing that happiness is the goal, not shared living expenses.
I’d rather have faith and be alone than be depressed and creeped out. I had some crazy experiences trying to hunt love down via the internet. It’s like finding Tiffany & Coach at the thrift store. Yeah it happens once in a blue moon… but most of it is crap. That’s my charming analogy of internet dating. At the end, I was in it purely for the story.
I’m horribly tempted to go out on a few of these dates, purely for the entertainment… but that’s pretty shitty, isn’t it?
I might just do it anyway.