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Puerto Rico…part 1

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The reality is never as pretty as the fantasy… unfortunately.

A year ago, while whining about the current douche bag to cross my path, some amazing comment on my blog comes chiming in. Some stranger that has silver coated syllables is reading my journal? Weird. I’m immediately intrigued and click over to read his blog. Golden words. Nothing short of verbal porn, with a side of Shark… and we all know I have a certain weakness for that sort of thing.

He’s even bald. Be still my heart. He lives in paradise. He’s so exactly what and who I want, I could have ordered him for myself. He sends me an email… and it’s even more intoxicating.

But I was involved with someone close enough to touch… so I didn’t pay much attention.

And he kept on reappearing. He wasn’t intimidated by my disinterest. I blogged about him a few times. They were all true and I really thought he was the most amazing man I’d ever read about.

The man I was in love with at the time, said it out loud for the first time.

♥- I like this T guy… and I think he gets you. How outrageous would that be? I think you should talk to him.

It hurt to hear at the time, but it planted a seed….

I emailed him back eventually… and things heated up quickly. He woke me up every morning with the best app I ever downloaded, with sweet words and just…. intoxicating male perfection.

His text messages were so good my best friends begged me to give him their numbers. His emails were orgasm-worthy. Good enough I never deleted one.

I asked him to guest blog for me because I wanted to see what he’d write. It blew my mind, and the minds of many.

He started talking about the ultimate roll of the dice… a weekend in Puerto Rico together. I told him from the beginning I couldn’t afford it. He told me I could pay for meals for a few days- that was do-able.

He bought me a ticket….

I talked to my sister about it first.

J- So… I think I’m going to go to Puerto Rico and meet him.

P- Have him come here. I want to meet him and that’s a long way from home.

J- Yeah, in paradise… in February. He’ll come here next.

P- I don’t know…

J- I feel it… I love him already. I’m going.

I didn’t really know how to tell people. I requested the time off work and go to the line that said “Reason:” and froze. I wrote Puerto Rico… and walked away feeling naked. To be completely honest… I’m a chicken shit in my life. I don’t do the scary things. I don’t roll dice. I’m a big fan of helmets. I needed to have enough faith in myself to go.

4000 miles for a first date. A first date with a man I’d already fallen in love with. Wondering how this worked, how this was going to go and immediately feeling inadequate listening to him talk about the girls he dates. 6′ blonde girls in their twenties. Awesome. I called my best guy friend and he came over. I stripped down to my panties and told him I was freaking out about getting naked in front of this guy and he laughed at me.

B- You’re beautiful, and I hope he doesn’t see it. I hope you have a nice time, but it really doesn’t matter. We love you- and he’d better take care of you. I don’t want to pick you up from the airport in a bag.

J- Don’t say that.

B- You look great naked, relax…

J- You’re just making me feel better.

B- You look kinda orange but you have big tits, you’ve got this- RELAX! He loves YOU. Even the nasty bitch you can be on your blog. If he’s worried about about your chubby thighs then fuck him, he’s older than you- he should be thanking his lucky stars.

J- He dates six foot blonde girls in their twenties.

B- Yeah me too… come on Jen… don’t lose your head. Don’t jump in head first and DO NOT be clingy. You do that. I’ve seen it. Ugh. Find your confidence and take those panties. Damn.

J- I love you. Thanks.

I packed my suitcase a dozen times. A dozen dresses. A dozen pairs of heels… I broke one side of the buckle a month before I was due to leave. Overcompensating? Yes. If he only knew what I left at home…

I didn’t sleep the night before I left. Sober One Kenobe came over and made me into some sort of blonde bombshell. My sister drove me to the airport in the early twilight hours. I got out of the car and she walked around and looked at me and I started to cry.

J- I can’t believe I’m doing this.

P- Me either… but I’m so proud of you and I’m just… so proud. You’re going for it and you’re going big. I hope it’s everything you ever wanted. I hope it’s amazing. Enjoy every second.

Walking into the airport was overwhelming. Checking in for my first flight was terrifying. Handing my passport to the man in the security line was seriously an out of body experience.

It just kept hitting me. I was seriously flying 4000 miles to meet the man of my dreams. In a little black Ann Taylor dress and my favorite Coach bag… Maggie. My red leather security blanket… and my daughter’s bunny tucked inside. Praying I wasn’t putting my life on the line and I could just dive in head first without checking the depth of the pool… shocker.

I sat between a bunch of beautiful soldiers on my first flight and they were quick to reassure me, and buy me a few drinks…. A cool du-wop band on my second flight and an amazing couple on my last flight. I wanted to brush my teeth more than anything when we landed… but the airport was closed and the bathrooms were locked. We were the last flight of the night.

My phone was flashing the little red “I’m about to die” light at me… and I was facing the scariest moment of my life.

What if I didn’t recognize him? What if he didn’t like me? What if he was disappointed in my short curvy ass…. Damn near hyperventilating…. and a text comes in. A friend of mine… possibly the only one I can talk to about this moment.

I’m looking around and realizing that he’s not here…. or I’m living the moment I fear most and I’m not recognizing him. I decide to play it safe, find an outlet and plug in my phone charger…. and read the text that came in.

F- There yet?

J- Just landed.

F- I’m really happy for you. I hope it’s great.

J- I’m scared to death.

F- Relax. He loves you.

J- He’s not here.

F- What????????????

J- Everyone is gone… I’m not kidding. He’s not here.

F- WTF? Did you call him?

J- He didn’t answer both times.

F- Call him until he does.

J- He was asleep… he’s on his way.

F- I’m worried.

I stopped responding. He was only increasing my level of anxiety. Google said the hotel was 15 minutes away… so I walked outside. The balmy warm heat hit me and I knew I was going to have to open my suitcase to find my perfume. I didn’t know if I’d be able to get it closed though… I couldn’t not… so I pulled the trigger and it sprung open. It took me climbing on it to get it closed again, with darling airport guys walking by laughing and teasing me in Spanish. I found a little tourist stand with two Time magazines and started reading…

An hour later he drove up. He called me just before pulling up.

T- Are you in a black dress?

Gulp.

J- Yep.

and he hung up… and he drove up… and he walked up…

and I kissed him.

Angels sang… ish.

T- Let’s get out of here.

He threw my suitcase in the back and we got in… and it was silent. Awkward silence because I’m literally sitting next to him for the first time and I am LOST for words. I reach over and put my hand on his thigh and he growls at me.

Dear God in heaven… thank you, thank you, thank you….

12 responses »

  1. The boy can’t wait for you to get there and he is an hour late… Pirates and douche bags cut from the same cloth. Thomas, please explain to me , well to Jenni, why the need to show her you are in charge? You bought her the ticket, you chose the destination, to set set the boundaries, you are already in control. This beautiful girl from 4000 miles away, risks everything to meet you. And you arent there. There is no text waiting for her. I have enemies who are better behaved. You can tell me that you risked a lot too, but who are we kidding… You risk nothing. If you don’t gain, you abstain. I thought my ex man was a douche, but he never once behaved like a boy. I can’t wait for The Boy Pirate part II.

    Reply
  2. I’m with you, E.T. Appalling behavior from a grown man. I have never, ever been treated that way. My 14-year-old first boyfriend did a better job than that 30 years ago….

    No wonder he’s having such a difficult time finding a real lady. Newsflash, Thomas, real ladies require a real gentleman.

    Reply
  3. I think that was a sign of things to come…..

    Reply
    • My mama said the same thing. She said…

      “Baby doll… if you were picking him up from our airport? You’d sleep for three days in your car in the parking lot to avoid missing his arrival”

      I hate to admit it… but it’s true. It’s the moment I spent 13 hours panicking about… then he wasn’t there. He’s never given me an explanation.

      Reply
      • Well, if it means anything- my absolute first clue was not too long after I came to learn things were moving between you two. It was lopsided in that you were putting it out there and there were crickets on his end.

        I absolutely do not think it was a matter of “privacy” or some such nonsense on his end. Like TPG, I wanted to be optimistic and hope that things would work. Goodness knows lightening can strike, and I really hoped it was zinging for you both………

  4. The only reason he wanted privacy was so he could still verbally seduce other women at the same time. He deletes his blog so he doesn’t have to hear what a db he is from all the readers who go together to compare notes. I am willing to bet he isn’t even divorced. Got to keep his adventures separate.

    Reply
  5. He was late picking you up…

    Although he’s deleted his blog I bet he’s reading everyone that’s being written about him.

    Reply
    • I didn’t know what to think when I got there and he wasn’t there. It got worse when I called twice and he didn’t answer. When he did answer it was surreal.
      T- Hi Baby.
      J- Thomas where are you?
      T- I’m in bed. I’m tired.
      J- Thomas I need you to come get me.
      T- I know, yeesh woman, I had a long day. I’ll be there soon.
      My flight was due to arrive at 11:20, and we arrived an hour late… at around 12:30. He picked me up from the airport at 1:36 in the morning.

      The moral of the story? When your first sign is a giant red flag… before you even meet the guy? Run like hell.

      Reply
      • For me the usual giant red flag is when you can’t call a guy when you want to.. or you call and he never answers but will always call you back later.

        Or when a guy will only talk to you when he is outside his house and never in it… that will only happen on the odd occasion.

        Ive had mates who wont chat to you from home only when they are going to and fro from somewhere… that is the classic sign of a married man or someone that lives with someone..

        They will be chatting to you from their car or from wherever they are walking from and as soon as they arrive home they will hang up on you.

        Or there will be guys who pretend the women in the background is his mother, sister or cousin and the kids screaming are theirs and not his.

        Some will give you a mobile number to call them on that most of the time will be off. and they themselves will call you from a private number,… classic signs of a committed man who carries 2 phones.

        In fact if i meet anyone who carries 2 phones I’m immediately suspicious.

        Another red flag is he will never invite you to his hometown or his own house but will happily come and visit you or book you into a hotel somewhere where he can come and visit.

        Theyre are so many others but you wont know them untill you have been there and experienced them.

  6. I hadn’t seen this… damn it. 😦

    Reply
  7. Pingback: Thomas Murray (Virgin Islands) – BEWARE | Four is a Family

  8. hi..my name is alexis and this man you continue to blog about is my dad. im so sorry for any of you that he has hurt i know this is his thing my mom has raised me using my dad as an example of what you dont want in life. he is a very good dad. but again i cant apologize enough..

    Reply

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