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Puerto Rico… part 2

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We got to the hotel and he handed the keys to the valet. I was doing my best to think this was completely normal.

He reached out and grabbed my hand and led me to the elevator, carrying my bag for me. I was speechless. The doors closed and he was there in front of me, the lips I’d craved for so long… touching mine. Inches off the ground and perfectly lined up with what I always dreamed of. Here he was… my everything… with the hands I’d always wanted to touch… pulling me to a hotel room in paradise.

How in the hell did I get here?

He opened the door to our room and poured me a cup of rum. I told him I thought I might be allergic… but it’s been since high school and I need a little liquid courage. He’s teaching me to chase it with guava juice. I’m laughing because I drink vodka on the rocks- so this is a little more sissyfied than I’m used to. Whatever- I can hang.

He kisses me… I set my rum down… and he smiles…. and I get it. I know what every bad date was worth because I love this man so completely I can’t breathe. He’s my everything… and I admit to it immediately.

J- I love you.

T- I love you too.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip…. and my dress falls to my feet…. and the rest is too graphic to share. Regardless of the outcome I can honestly admit that it was the most amazing connection I’ve ever had- and intimately it will be hard to beat. I give credit where credit is due, and this man has his bases covered. Sexual warfare… nuff said.

He showed me beautiful things… he took me beautiful places… we giggled and laughed and fell in love over El Hamburger and sunshine. It was magic.

He fished a J shaped piece of coral out of the ocean and handed it to me while wrapping the chubby thighs I’d been so self conscious about, around his waist… kissing the saltwater off of my lips while I thanked God, all the angels & saints.

Eating the most amazing food, drinking the most amazing drinks, and having the time of my life in paradise with the man of my dreams. I can’t very well regret something like that, can I?

The second to last night… things turned a little. Shit got real….

We’d been at the beach all day and were clearly not going to make our dinner reservations. He rescheduled and started drinking rum. He only poured a glass for himself and I was content curled up next to him… lost in sunshiny salt-water sweetness. Stupid in love… and a movie came on.

He pointed to the actress on the screen and said…

T- That’s my favorite line on a woman. That definition in her six pack… that line…

A line that I clearly do not have. Huh.

T- Let’s go out. I’m hungry. You’re buying.

J- Ok.

I got ready in ten minutes and he was still in his boxers… still drinking. I was worried about him driving and did NOT want to drive.

J- Baby what about room service?

T- No. You’re taking me out tonight. I get to be the girl tonight.

J- Ok.

We got in the car and I was worried. I kept thinking about them really having to tell my mom I actually did DIE in Puerto Rico… I knew she was worried…

He was driving 35 mph over the limit… and looked over and smiled at my stunned wide-eyed face… and took his glasses off and put them in the center console.

J- Honey put those back on. Please.

T- They’re only for looks.

J- No they’re not… I tried them on yesterday!

He’s not negotiating… and I’m wishing I had four more seatbelts.

We get there… and go out… and the restaurant is closed but he asks them if they’ll make something anyway. I’m horrified… but they agree and we sit down to eat the weirdest fried chicken and fried cheese, ever. He doesn’t ask me if/what I want… and I pick at the chicken a little… but not much.

He’s making a big deal about being the girl on the date, and telling me I need to ask for the La Quenta… I’ve gone to Mexico every winter since I was a kid, I know how to ask for the check in Spanish… I’m just shy in front of him and he is only making it worse. He starts to pick me apart.

T- You need to want more. You need to be more successful for your kids. You’re not doing what you should and I don’t know if you ever will. You need to write your son off. Fuck him. He needs to understand what it is to feel your cold shoulder.

I start to cry.

J- I can’t. I love him. I miss him every day. I can’t leave them. I won’t leave them. Even if he hates me, he’s still just down the street. My daughter is the center of my life. I’ll never leave her.

T- You need to live your own life. I like being the girl on the date. Let’s go. Ask for the la quenta…

I tip them 50% of our tab for making us food after they were closed, and we move to his favorite martini bar. Tantra. Every drink on the menu is based on the Kama Sutra and they all have rose petals floating in the glass. Beautiful and delicious. I have a stress headache and he’s making it worse. He starts talking about the Indian girl’s body and how sad it is that “none of them have tits”. I’m uncomfortable and he’s only getting worse. He starts in about the la quenta again and I’m only too happy to leave.

His other favorite bar is closed and he’s pissy. We walk into another one, and sit at the bar. The bartender is busy making drinks and my charming date starts to snap his fingers. I’m horrified and beg him to stop and he starts to clap. I want to dig a hole and climb in. The bartender walks over to us…snaps his fingers once and asks what he can get for us.

T- We’ll have two Caipirinhas.

J- No. I’ll have a double Goose on the rocks.

T- Ohhhhh feeling feisty? I’ve read about you and Grey Goose.

J- Yeah you’ve read about Veruca too, and you’d better brace yourself because Veruca on Goose is not funny.

He orders me another one… and I’m tipping the poor bartender $10 on each round. So embarrassed and so insulted that he would be so rude to someone that does the same job I do. Disappointed and offended. We leave and make our way back to the car and at this point I know he’s going to be the death of me. I pay the parking and he asks the parking attendant if he wants me, because I don’t want to go anywhere else with him and I’m making him go home. It’s 3 in the morning and I’m exhausted and unhappy. Moderately drunk, but more disgusted than anything.

And he can’t remember where he parked the car. 13 levels of cars in the wee hours of the morning and I’m in my favorite stilettos with my drunk asshole boyfriend and I snap.

J- Are you fucking kidding me? I cannot believe you tonight. You told me I didn’t want to meet your “Tommy” personality and I can definitely agree with you now. You’re being a jackass.

and he find it… and we drive back to the hotel in silence, and I head straight to the bar and order a drink and he ignores me. He sits for a while in the lobby… then sits on the opposite side of the bar… and stops to say one thing to me on his way out…

T- Ya know… this isn’t even a tenth of Tommy and you can’t handle it. That concerns me.

I start to cry and he walks away, flinging a room key at me. The guy next to me picks it up from the floor and sets it on the bar.

What have I gotten myself into?

21 responses »

  1. Thomas the boy child acting like every pathetic frat boy I ever knew. Their excuse? They were eighteen his excuse? Douche bag. My buddy Steve Harvey claims a man would never ask his date to pay. A man would never tell you what’s wrong with your kids or how you parent hem. A man has never walked in your shoes. Boys, however, think they know everything. This is the boy who doesn’t know what it is like to be a full time parent, or a parent at all. Being a parent doesn’t mean buying your daughter whatever she wants out of guilt. Thomas has broke every single list Steve said to avoid. I hear warning bells. Damn Thomas, you have the balls to blame Jenni, but none to be a man? Your parents failed you big time and the cycle continues, I hope the wife/ex or otherwise, is one hell of a mother because your poor kids are doomed. Better yet, I hope your girl picks a boyfriend just like you.

    • E.T., he made her pay because he’s not the rich financier that he’d like us all to believe he is. It took him months to pull together the money for her ticket. Why do you think he didn’t have her fly out right away? He wanted me to come out within the first week of our emails… on my own dime, of course 🙂 I’ve dated plenty of wealthy men, and none of them would have ever suggested that I pay my own way to visit them. Ever.

      And he criticizes her parenting skills because he lost big in the custody wars and those who can’t do like to criticize those who can.

    • One word.


  2. Hmmm… I think it’s time:

    Dear Thomas,

    I knew I was right about you. Thank god I bailed when I did. I only wish Jenni had done the same.

    Oh, and by the way, I have every single communication you ever sent me, and I’ve learned more since then, thanks to the sleuthing skills of some wonderful friends with IT knowledge that you can only dream about (let’s not forget that I grew up in DC, surrounded by neighbors with classified and top secret clearance….). Leave Jenni alone or it all goes viral, including every photo you sent me and your phone number. Period. Honestly, what Jenni did to Nathan will look like child’s play compared to what I’ll do. I don’t hate blog often (as you well know), but I’m honestly tired of this business of yours and feel somewhat responsible for not warning Jenni off. So go away. Seriously. Far, far away.

    I think you know me well enough to know that I don’t make idle threats, and I think you know I’m smart enough to best you if you take me on. I’m really very nice, until I’m really very not.

    It’s time to crawl back into whatever hole you came out of.


    The other T. 🙂

    • Ooooh Nathan hates himself some Jenni… but he can’t really say much since it’s all TRUE. I’ve also been on the receiving end of that nightmare for the last two week.

      It’s so hard… because the brain in my head SCREAMS douche bag… but my heart is still just bleeding. I miss him while he hates me. Go figure.

      I know you’re saving my from myself and I have a feeling I wont hear from him after he reads this, and I just have to say one thing that’s bothered me since the first email I got from you.

      You couldn’t have told me. I was so fantastically inspired by love and so ass-over-teakettle in love with him that it would have hurt more for you to ruin it for me than it would have helped. You are so right. Tragic but true, and all that.

      A book deal says I made the right financial choice, though it makes me nauseous to write about him so I don’t know how “WINNING” it really is.

      I just want a nice boyfriend to enjoy what I cooked for dinner and me for dessert… is that so much to ask for? WTF???

      • Sweetie,

        I think we often miss the idea of someone–what our hearts believed they could be…and after what you have gone through, I hope you can tell your heart that no one who loves you would ever spew vitriol about you publicly or privately like T has.

        I agree wholeheartedly with the “other T” about getting out when I did, and wishing I’d have warned you as well. 😦 To impart his opinions of other women (who it turns out he was recycling his words for) via email is unconscionable. Unlike TPG, I did not keep them–I wanted all evidence of him erased from my life.

        You talk about amazing. Being loved by amazing… Take a look in the mirror, and see it there. Not in texts or emails or memories…in you. 🙂

      • The book deal is likely the only reason you went through all of this. Period.

        And I suspected as much about not being able to warn you, which is why I didn’t. I watched and waited and hoped for you and hoped for him. I would have loved to have been wrong….

      • Nope… I went in head first in love and came out with a potentially fatal hole in my heart.

        I wish we were both wrong…. but most of all? I wish he were sorry.

      • You will find that nice boyfriend Jenni. And I’m so glad you had the guts to out this vile man…

    • E.T., whom do you suppose is clicking the “don’t like” button on our comments on this thread??? I simply can’t imagine?!? LMFAO. 🙂

  3. Holly mother of God, Jenny…
    my heart aches big time here and melts for you…
    Darling, keep writing, i am all hooked up and i want to know more…
    uff uff… sweetheart ;(

  4. 1) He has alcohol issues. No one is really real if they have to rely on alcohol like that, and obviously, he can’t control himself in that regard.

    2) He has anger issues. People who hold on to grudges like that are toxic, even if they don’t appear so on the outside.

    3) He keeps saying how he’s a work in progress, etc etc etc. You can’t actually evolve if you don’t do the work. Forgiveness is part of that. People who allow the past and the hate and the hurt to consume them end up reflecting that which they are trying to “move past.”

    While I’m sad that it didn’t work out for you, you are better off without him. Until he sorts himself (and TPG- this is for you :D) – spends some time ALONE fixing his issues, he won’t be fit for actual companionship.

    Bear in mind- you saw what he wanted you to see; what he crafted. What you felt may have been real for you, but was clearly a fabrication on his end.

    That drinking and driving thing? That tells a person right there what they actually mean. People who care about you don’t willingly put your life in danger.

    Inside that person is a scared little boy who doesn’t know what to do with real emotion. That’s why he drinks; that’s why he did what he did; to destroy something that could have been really good, had he been real.

    Ya, I’m a side-chair shrink, lol. 😆

    Get it out of your system and move on! Not all folks of the male gender are like this. Maybe he won’t be either, if he can ever become a man.

  5. This might sound like a stupid or ignorant question, but… aren’t there any men nearby? Men that you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to visit? And, at the risk of sounding like an ass, men who you can meet in person from the start so they don’t seduce you repeatedly with the ease and convenience of the written word?

    Just saying. I mean, we all have dating disaster stories, but mine are like “met a girl, she was a bitch, goodbye.” “met a girl, high maintenance, goodbye.” “met a girl, smoking hot, nice, sweet, two months, racist, goodbye.” Never “met a girl 2,000 miles away, bought a ticket, flew out, got a hotel for a week, fell completely in love, asked her to marry me in the first 5 minutes, got married, had a kid, fought, got divorced, left after 3 days.” That’s a tiny bit faster than I like. Of course, I’ve been married for 16 years to a woman I married after knowing her for only 3 months, so maybe I’m not the best person to judge.

  6. I can’t even read the comments… that muther fucker. He did all of that on purpose to make you feel small. That son of a bitch. Man, I’m getting angrier by the second.

    My god. I’m sorry I don’t intend to sound insensitive in “any” way. gggrrrrr… I’m assuming, this got worse… I didn’t see these yesterday.

  7. Pingback: Thomas Murray (Virgin Islands) – BEWARE | Four is a Family

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