I woke up the first morning home in my giant princess bed, alone. Snow softly falling outside and a fresh sunburn on my cheeks. Surrounded by the scent of his cologne and missing the arms I’d woken up in just a few days earlier.
Broken and shaking uncontrollably, with a dozen angry text messages from him, complete with pictures of the beach- telling me how sad it was that I’d made it an unwelcome destination for my daughter and I. As if I’d ever let him within a hundred miles of her.
My sister got someone to cover my shift, and I sat in bed, motionless and in silence, all day. Unspeakably devastated and unsure what/how/where, etc… with my phone ringing off the hook because everyone knew I was home. Sober One Kenobe and Baby Teeth came right over and hugged me. I sobbed and told them I didn’t know what happened but it was bad.
MSOK- You need to take a test, I’m sure your drink was drugged and I bet he did it.
J- There’s no reason for him to do that- it’s a disaster.
MSOK- Take care of yourself. I love you, I have to go to work but I’ll come over later.
Silence again and I’m going crazy listening to his texts chirp in. My Yahoo chat thingy that I’d loved so much before was now the bane of my existence. I deleted him. I blocked him. I unblocked him.
I cried.
and cried…
and cried some more.
I got out of bed and took his clothes off. I let my dogs out, and they took off. I sat down and really just cried. My Fearless friend drove over and held me. She helped me pack the stuff in a box, drove me to the post office and to go break my stupid fucking dogs out of doggie jail… to the tune of $110. Assholes… as if I don’t already have enough on my plate.
With the last of him gone (she wouldn’t let me keep his t-shirt…even after I begged) she took me for the ultimate humiliation… a drug test. At the first sign of the nurse I lost it all over again. How on earth did I get here?
N- Ideally you’d have had the test yesterday, because you may have already metabolized whatever it was in your drink but you’re visibly trembling and that’s a sign of Rohypnol.
A quick blood draw and a smiley face band-aid. My Fearless savior drives me home and hugs me another dozen times while I cry. She tells me to get dressed, she’s not going to let me sit in my bed and cry anymore. I climb in the shower and feel the hot water burn against my sunburn. I have bruises everywhere, and my right shoulder is purple. My teeth are chattering and the water is scalding hot. I hold out my hands and watch them shake under the water and see the purple bruises around both wrists. I look like death warmed over…. and I feel worse.
The hate from him continues. He’s furious that people are judging him and he tells me I need to write WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. He’s pissed at me for suggesting this happened to me too. I can’t win. I can’t convince him that I’m sorry and I don’t know what happened. I tell him about the drug test and he doesn’t care either way.
T- You were drugged, so?
Then the emails come rolling in. The women start to fall out of his closet faster than I can lock myself in my own.
Apparently… I’m one of MANY. I’ve heard from 6 so far. Three of whom sent me the scathing emails he wrote in response to their inquiring about whether or not he was involved with me. I was outspoken about it on my blog… and he wasn’t. My mom said it best when I got home.
M- Honey, I started reading that night after Lovely called me to tell me things were bad and you needed help. He sort of alluded to you, but in a way that anyone else could assume was about them as well. You’re gushing, throwing out flares and proclaiming it for the world to see, and he didn’t even comment on what you’d written. It was a big departure from how he used to be, and we noticed it immediately. The hotel told me he’s a frequent guest.
J- He told me he’d never stayed there before.
Who has two thumbs and feels like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet? This girl.
I got dressed, and went to trivia… if you can believe it. I needed my people. The people I love so dearly that really love me back. I sat between my Bestie and Smartypants and they saved me from wallowing. Huge comfort in the form of REAL men who would never intentionally hurt me.
Friends and acquaintances, customers who knew I was going to Puerto Rico, etc… they’re all rushing over to see how it was until they take one look at my face.
Not well. Not at all.
Fairytale? Not so much.
But… OH my have I learned a helluva lot. This seems to be the year of painful lessons and book deals about douche bags. Honestly my psycho internet weirdos seem pretty harmless after this nightmare. Nevermind he tells me constantly that I’ll never have real love in my life like he gave me. I should hope not.
Miss Lovely tells me to come over and I lay on the floor and cry and she asks if I’ve heard from anyone else who’s met him in Puerto Rico and I tell her no.
L- That’s because you can’t email from the “other” side.
I’m still just in love with him, and can’t understand what the hell happened. If it’s one language I’m fluent in, it’s cheating lying douche bag. I wish I could say I was surprised, but it’s happened so many times that I’m not.
But…. this man met me after reading about my lying cheating douche bag boyfriend. He knew, more than most, what I’ve been through this year. He knew… and he STILL went there… and if one thing earned the hate blog he’s about to get smacked with, it’s that.
Informed betrayal counts twice in my book and this is the ultimate betrayal. That I ever apologized to that fucking liar is embarassing. That I’m still in love with him, is proof of the damage he left me to repair.
My test came back positive, like I knew it would… and it still made no difference to him. Every man I know kept shaking their head, telling me they’d be worried sick about their girlfriend/wife if they were in my position.
Systematically I picked up the pieces and put my lovely self back together. I made a dozen new best girlfriends who were ALL there for me when I really needed to remember to ignore his hate and vitriol.
Win or lose, I survived… and though the cracks may still be visible, I’m armed with a rainbow of duct tape and yarn to sew/tape/glue them all back together again.
I’m good. I’m fine. I’m a lot better than I was a month ago today…
And a HELLUVA lot smarter.
Jenni, I was just out sitting in my hot tub soaking my aching back, when it hit me. Why T is SO DAMN MAD at you. You blew his cover. Busted up his little domain, caught him in his lies, exposed him to the world. His Morning Wood, with all his beautiful words, carefully cultivated over the years, is gone. All his hard work at his illusion, is shattered……makes sense to me now.
Bingo, Jan. And I think she blew more than the cover of his blog. I wouldn’t be surprised if she blew his WHOLE cover… He might well be living the fall-out of his wife and family discovering who and what he really is…
What goes around, comes around, Thomas. Reap your whirlwind, my friend….
“L- That’s because you can’t email from the “other” side.” creepy tingles went up my spine after reading that line.
Well done sweet girl! You are brave and smart and you survived to tell the tale. Well done you xxxx
Jenni, I absolutely refuse to listen to you beat yourself up over your lack of judgment here. Yes, there were red flags. Yes, next time you should be wiser and listen to the people who aren’t lost in love with the guy.
BUT!
I didn’t know of Thomas or his blog until he started chasing me, but when I started reading it, I was pretty disgusted. You know as well as I that there were literally dozens of women fawning all over him on that blog, including women who’d heard some of these stories in advance and chose to ignore them. I guarantee you that most of them would have gotten on that plane, too.
I bought into his ridiculousness for about two weeks before dropping him like a hot potato, but I kept an eye on you and checked in on him occasionally to see what mischief he was up to. I had the temerity on a few occasions to chide him for some behavior or another and got verbally smacked down by some of the other posters. Denial is a powerful drug when mixed with the desire for a prince. So don’t you dare feel foolish. I won’t stand for it, seriously. You had lots and lots of company in that pool.
And — not like you need me to tell you this — your momma is a smart woman. My friends and i had noticed those things from the beginning and it was part of what alerted me that you might be on a fast train to heartbreak. Even the guest post he wrote on this blog was tempered and judicious in its use of words and phrasings. If you read it now, you’ll probably see it clearly. But at the time, you saw what you wanted to see, because that’s what most women in love do.
Just do what you’re doing, sweetie: learn and move on.
And, please!, don’t spend one more minute feeling foolish. He’s the only one here who should feel like a fool.
That’s just it. We all fell in love with him. My friends were as enamored with his words as I was. It was over the top- seriously.
Isn’t that funny, he found me too. I woke up to sugar sweet comments last April. I never even questioned it. He wrote a blog called “Vacationville and the book I can’t put down” about me and as soon as my ticket was booked, he set it to private because he said his “stalker” was reading it every day. The password was panties. Charming.
He’d call me and tell me he was writing about me that day, then the details wouldn’t jive. I told him several times that I didn’t like feeling jealous and I wasn’t going to read his blog anymore because the women were everywhere fawning over him and he only encouraged them. He told me to be careful with my comments and I ignored him a few times because he didn’t mince any words on mine. If you read back through his comments on here, they’re downright aggressive…. but he continued to flirt with a bunch of “strangers”? It didn’t make sense. We fought about it and he drunk dialed me late and was vicious. I saw that side of him all too often while we were together and I’m furious with myself that I’m still heartbroken over the good moments we had. It was all bullshit… and that just stings.
He got off on making me feel bad/guilty. He would say the harshest things, and criticize me so horribly that I sat in his lap and sobbed. It was awful- and I knew in that moment that he was not the Prince Charming I’ve been holding out for.
“I gotta admit, i wasn’t the happiest when i first came across the style of commenting like yours”
That’s part of what he wrote to me early on, because, like TPG, I told him what I thought of him and his behavior. (remember that time I told him he wasn’t anybody’s savior and that there was only one person in history that could make that claim??
)
I still think he is a wounded little boy in some ways, but obviously, there is mental illness there, since a conscience is missing.
I also didn’t understand the fawning, but it was interesting reading in that regard (as in WHY is there that response??)………. I didn’t get around to reading the last few posts, but definitely, things were always lopsided in that Jenni spent a lot more time talking about him and it wasn’t reciprocated publicly……….
And so carefully explained too. I was “special” and he didn’t want the details of our “love” as blog fodder.
I feel like the village idiot, I swear.
*No wonder he flipped out when I told him I got an email saying he was married, he was probably scared to death it was from his wife.
*No wonder he flipped out when I had his wallet- that had to be hard to explain when he got home.
*No wonder my ticket was purchased by his “personal assistant”, also the same person to sign for his package when it arrived.
I should have thrown his shit in the trash.
Did the wallet contain any incriminating evidence/info? Please tell me you DID look…..
Of course, and no.
I might actually call the police (find your own number, though) and see what’s going on. If nothing else, you have proof that you were drugged, which can be copied and sent to them as well.
They have a predator on their hands. It would seem that this was not his first time. I wonder if they have a string of unsolved drugging/rapes etc etc on their hands? It wouldn’t surprise me.
And really? So he presses charges- so what? Are they going to forcibly extradite you there?
Given his track record of lying, it would not surprise me if this was all just to try to bully you into shutting up so he doesn’t get caught. I’m not a lawyer, but just seems to me there has got to be something you can do to nail him to the wall……
Call his bluff. Ask him for the number. I guarantee it doesn’t exist.
If you really want him to shit his pants, give him YOUR police report number. Even if doesn’t exist. He won’t follow up on it. He will be too busy shitting his pants.
Oh it exists, so he can shit away. I came home wanting answers and not knowing what on earth or where on earth to turn. He was so angry at me and I had no idea what on earth happened. Nightmare, personified.
He’s blocked his IP but I’m sure he’s reading, and I hope like hell that she is too. Knowledge is power, even when it devastates you.
Everyone is now saying we knew what he was like but no one came forward to warn you. The hotel staff etc knew too yet no one said a word to you.
As much as everyone believes you wouldn’t have listened and you say you wouldn’t have believed at least a seed of doubt would have been planted in your mind and those alarm bells would have rung slightly sooner. Things wouldnt have made sense to you and his lies would have come to the surface.
I think they’re are lessons to be learned here for everyone not just you jenni. If you can clearly see someone is heading towards disaster then speak up, rather than regretting it later.
It’s all I’m hearing on your blog that many wished they had spoken up while they watched you fall in love with an evil man. If you hadn’t believed them it could have scared him off. Just like he’s got scared and disappeared now.
I knew someone like him… Complete charmer and everyone warned me. I refused to listen. As soon as I confronted him he backed off. Red sirens went up. I wish someone had told you.
In all honesty, if anyone had told me I would have told one of my friends and they never would have let me go. It took months to convince them he was safe. He emailed me our hotel confirmation, room number, etc and told me to be sure to give it to my mom & my sister. He was offended that anyone would suggest it was a risk to go see him. So if anyone had told me? I never would have gone to Puerto Rico. I probably still would have met him at some point, but it would have been on my home turf.
I asked him all the questions. I had no reason to fear him and he worked overtime to reassure me.
It would have broken my heart… and I think as women we all want to fall in love and live happily ever after, and it’s nice to see someone doing it. I was crazy in love with him- and I had an amazing couple of days with him or who he wanted me to think he was, in Puerto Rico. The pictures make me smile because when they were taken it was crazy fantastic. Lie or not, I had a great time, saw some amazing things and had great sex for 4 days straight. I liken him to a glorified long distance booty call at this point.
A rather expensive mercy fuck. lol…
You’re not in love with him you’re in love with a person he created an illusion. Tough place to be coz it hurts like hell that this person doesn’t really exist.
Absolutely. He worked overtime to be exactly what I wanted.
Fucking creeper… I’d love to email him a picture of his replacement.
It’s something they do… Whatever you say they agree with it and make you think how wonderful you both “click”. They listen when you talk write and use the info to get into your head and heart.
I remember I once said to this guy I knew that if I ever had a daughter I’d name her Maria. He replied his mother is called Maria. I found out she was called something else. It’s the little things they pay attention too.
They pretend the relate to your stories and your life by pretending to have experienced similar things.
Arseholes!