Guido Baby…

I’ve been bored with my current selection of internet weirdos. They’re all sort of normal. Hmph.

I didn’t check my email until just now… and we have a winner.

Ok so he’s only 21… but he’s a self proclaimed die hard fan of Jersey Shore. <obviously>

He’s looking for his Snookie… and just think…

I could dress up. !!! Crazy internet date + costume= Awesome!!!!!!!

Then I read his email, which only sealed his fate as my next literary lesson in why internet dating is just about as close to hell as you can get without dying.

Dear J,

when ur finished hanging out with Stacy’s Mom, u should strut that bombshell body on up my way. Thurs good 4 u?


Oh my yes, Paulie… I wouldn’t miss it for the world…


Wardrobe suggestions, anyone?


23 thoughts on “Guido Baby…”

  1. Sigh. Why, oh why, when they look like that, are they always dumb as a bag of bricks?

    As for the wardrobe, he might actually like it if you play up the Snookie angle…. I almost think you should go totally the other way, Jenni. Maybe go down the Mormon/Catholic thing: turtleneck, cross around your neck, long skirt, minimal make-up…..

      1. Perhaps. I’d like to think that we could see the, um, bigger brain……… If he was related to SH, I’m sure he’d at least have a British accent, since we know the one thing he doesn’t like about his automated voice is the American accent…………… shew.

        But gosh, just think- it that were true, the possibilities could be endless! I’d hate to think he would waste his mind on focusing on getting a body like that, but no one’s perfect, I suppose….. 😆

    1. Because steroids rot your brain, lol… I dated a guy like that for a while and honestly the best part was watching him mow the lawn. 🙂

      Considering one of my profile pictures has me in a nun’s habit, I bet I could get away with it…..

  2. GMTA — I was gonna say “Nun’s habit” —
    I say do it up BIG — tight dress, big hair, fake lashes . . .the whole she-bang . . . and then don’t ever forget you are too smart for him!

  3. Please give yourself a break before dating again. If you’re just browsing, that’s one thing, if you’re serious, you need some time to get through what you just went through.

      1. You could also read blogs too to see odd things. 🙂 Give yourself a mental break and heal. Honey, you need to heal from this ordeal. I’m sure you know this, however I have to say it’s very important. Okay? XO …

      2. Oh I wouldn’t go on a real date with a shotgun to my head. Trust me… It’ll be a miracle if I can stomach the thought of a boyfriend for a while.

        I have a “friend” and an acre of veggies to plant. I’m all set. I’m taking at least 6 months off the whole nightmare, if not a year. I’d rather be gardening, canning, etc…

        I have absolutely no faith in my selection process or judgement, so I’m planning on not using it until it can be repaired ♥

      3. I’m so glad to hear this 🙂 Gardening and all that is very soothing … methodical. My friend? She used to LOVE gardening used to make her feel very soothed.

        Your faith will be restored in time. You know… a really important thing to remember is that, you weren’t dealing with a normal person. Skilled manipulator, liar, etc., yes… that’s not the norm. Sadly You “will” be able to spot them from hereon in…

        Take your time 🙂 … you will be okay.

      1. WHY DO THEY INSIST ON DOING THAT??? Seriously, it’s ridiculous. I once got one of those while out to dinner with some girlfriends and we did nothing but laugh at it. Probably not the reaction he was expecting….

  4. Jenni, just be gentle and kind with him. 6 pack abs need love too! lol Some of these guys may be mentally challenged, that’s why they pump up the body, so they have at least SOMETHING to offer!

  5. sometimes we dont need them to have brains, not that they generally do… i dont want a guy constantly acting smarter than me.. coz im the smartest around 😛

    if he’s good eye candy then human intelligence is not a requirement,… ( can’t believe i just said that ) 😛

  6. I approve!! remember what you told me about the “not so bright” ones???…it is OH SO true. The less intelligent thoughts they have, the more thought they put towards sex!!! And 21? you have me beat by 2 years…so very proud!!! So very proud!!! Bon Apetit!

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