Buy, buy, Baby.

The people closest to me know I am something of a bedding snob.

I worship at the altar of thread count and Egyptian cotton. Deep pocket sheets, silky soft duvets with oversize mother of pearl buttons, down comforters, fluffy soft pillows… I love it all. I don’t spend much time in bed, but when I do? It’s paradise.

I would rather have 800 beautiful threads per inch from the Goodwill, than brand new percale from Walmart. I’d honestly rather sleep in a chair. If you don’t believe there’s a difference, email me. I’ll lead you to the promised land.

Mr. Grey just bought a house and is shopping for the necessary and desired things to fill it. It’s somewhat painful to watch a man shop for necessities with all the effort of a Craigslist search.

Anything will NOT do. I’m ridiculously frugal whilst being an enormous snob. It’s a challenge to find the very best at the lowest price, but I’m a savvy shopper. This is that one place in my life where my stubborn nature, actually helps out.

I canceled our date. I’m not in the mood for visual foreplay that’s 80 days out. I’m already having a hard week and I have enough sense to tap out when I know I need to. He was delightfully sweet about it.

G- Where would you recommend I buy bedding online?

Oh.

My.

Here we go.

He’s a shark. I’m absentmindedly biting a hole in my lip while his texts whistle in on top of each other like a digital orgasm.

G- Sheets, a duvet, a down comforter and pillows.

This stealthy man belongs in slate grey and Hungarian Goose down. Also if I’m sleeping in that bed, I’m buying my favorites.

Or he is. I filled up the shopping cart at my very favorite place to outfit my bed and hesitated. The one I want to put in the cart is $800.

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Of course I picked out my favorite. Sheets yesterday. Feathers today. Be still my heart.

$1,320.29 later… it’s shaping up to be a spectacular slumber party.

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