You know…vanity will get you in trouble, every time.

I went in late on Friday after working some monster hours for the past two weeks while a coworker was on vacation. I’ve been taking work home and not sleeping so to say I’m burned out, is putting it mildly. I decided to stop and get my eyebrows waxed, something that always makes me feel better.

I have a favorite lady. She always wants me to schedule an appointment but I’m too busy and stood her up the last time she made me schedule one. I paid her anyway, and she was happy to fit me in today. I’m a good tipper, and this is when it really pays off. 

Or not. 

She was chatting with another stylist when I heard her say to me:

L- Oh. I’m going to have to go a little higher on that one. The left one is perfect.

I’m assuming she means my right eyebrow, because she goes to town on the left. More chatting about the potential YMCA going in. Hot molten lava wax, baking my freshly waxed skin to a crisp. Ouch.

Nothing beats having someone pluck your poor burned eyelids. I told her they looked great to me, and saw her frown. 

L- Are you allergic to aloe vera? 

J- No?

The icy cold smack in the eye provided minor relief with significant burning. I would say that I’d never miss another appointment with her again, but I’m thinking this should be my last. 

This morning has me looking on the bright side. I’d laugh a little easier if it didn’t hurt so badly. There’s a HUGE silver lining though. I don’t have to worry about getting caught checking anyone out.

Because I’m in a constant state of surprise with a side of chemical burns. 

I should have left well enough, alone. 

I don’t understand the drawn on bushy brows. I don’t get it. In fact when I see a girl with them, it’s all I can look at. Y’all look ridiculous. That goes double for the drawn on pencil line. What the actual fuck. Eyebrows don’t grow like that. Don’t do that. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has magic marker line brows, she looks crazy.

I get half of mine ripped off, so I’m sure there are plenty of you shaking your heads at me, too. Especially this morning, when I look a whole new shade of crazy. 

Word to the wise: don’t piss off your waxer. 

2 thoughts on “Eyebrows

  1. Ouch!! That looks painful! Is it possibly a new type of wax? I know when my lady changes up the wax, it freaking fries my eyebrows!! I also don’t understand those women who keep their eyebrows so bushy!! Not me!! All I can think of when I see that is that they look like Groucho Marx!! 🤣

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