I got a million, trillion things that I’d rather fucking do.

Aahhhhh….. I always think sex is the best medicine,  but it’s not.

It’s desire. Love. Laughter

All I need to do is take my fine ass out for the night. This isn’t rocket science. My head hurts, my feet ache…

Guess what doesn’t hurt this morning?

My ego and my heart.

I forgot for a second how hard I’ve worked to be so fucking cool. I’m not bragging. I’ve put the time in and have earned the right to own it.

Miss Lovely and I took my new boobies out for the night last night and I feel a billion times better. I have a very hot date tomorrow night with a man who can hold his own with me. A contender, if you will. He’s a successful Californian transplant and he’s handsome. He likes Christmas lights and I love that I only know what he tells me himself because he’s doesn’t Facebook. He moved here with a realtor and his only request was not to see his neighbors. I love that so much. I’m going  to make him dinner and work very hard to resist being the most delicious homemade dessert he’s ever eaten.

I’ve gotten my feelings hurt on a whole new level this time because I finally had the balls to tell a man exactly what I loved and wanted from him, and it backfired. Big time.

I should be able to tell a man I want him, and have him show up to prove why I should.

Strong women scare weak men and it is not my fault he wasn’t brave enough to handle me. I will not reduce myself for a man. I wasted my thirties on that shit. More importantly, there are a million men waiting in the wings, dying for the chances I’ve been wasting on him.

I’m fiery mad. I’m offended, insulted and hot as a hornet, because I still want him. My phone is blowing up this morning with strange numbers and offers of dinner and drinks… but none from him. Sigh….I’ll get over it and it’ll pass, but it sucks when you’re walking through the thick of being heartsick and all the wrong men are begging for a chance. You think it’d be comforting… but it really ends up making you feel worse.

Someone hugged me in the bar last night and told me she loved my blog. I was a little mortified at the moment but after the week I’ve had, I couldn’t have appreciated the love, more. I have terrible, self-destructive taste in men but I have incredible taste in friends and the women in my life are the cream of the crop. I have wonderful places to spend time with people who really enrich my life.

I literally have a million, trillion things that I’d rather fucking do, than waste another second on someone lukewarm about me.

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