Well shoot. I may have actually made a good choice, whilst wasted. I’m writing it down because it definitely needs to be noted.
Miss Lovely and I were hanging out together, destroying our livers, when we met two great guys. Mr. NotCalifornia and his Pops. We laughed ourselves sick with them, then went to go somewhere else.
Which is when I realized that the moment of truth was upon me. I don’t go out. I will literally NEVER see him again unless I say something and if he hasn’t asked… do I really have the balls to do it myself?
Of course I did. I was knee deep in Kokanee and a dirty martini or two.
J- Sorry if this is forward, but it was really nice to meet you and I’d like to see you again. What do you think about that?
Instant grin. Phew. He’s supposed to be playing pool, but stops and pulls his phone out.
C- I’d really like that.
Hey, hey, hey… look who hasn’t lost her touch. I have to say, it feels great to be hunted again. I don’t mind stepping up to the plate to swing the bat and ask for what I want but if you’re forever met with silence you have to love yourself enough to give up. Yes it stings, and hurts like hell, but you’re wasting your time and taking an active role in breaking your own heart. I’m complicit in how bad I’ve been feeling. I went and fell in love with a casual situation because I’m not one to be taken casually, but I also learned a powerful lesson about playing a game that I can’t win. No matter how different you think you are if you’ve shown him he can treat you as an incidental plaything, he’s going to. Even if you’ve been friends for a long time. You teach them how to treat you. I fail at that and am suffering the consequences.
So I texted Mr. NotC this afternoon… and he’s delivering baby farm animals on his farm.
Yeah. You read that right. I immediately sent Miss Lovely a screenshot.
L- We’re inviting ourselves over.
This is a whole new kind of transplant. He grew up in the city and wants to live his days out on a farm. One picture of my garden and he’s lighting my phone up. He sees the value in my character and not just my pretty face. That’s incredibly refreshing when I’m feeling so bad about myself.
Just as I suspected though… you have to leave the comfort of your own house to meet people.
It’s some small consolation that I’m still awfully good at it.