30 Days of Truth, Day 24

Day 24 — Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

Mmm…. I’ve been waiting for this one. I’m good a lot of weird things, but this man occupies far too much space in my head and I can’t shake him. I’ve been trying to flush him out with music, but now I’m listening to whiny country love-gone-wrong songs. 😦

He deserves a playlist, though he will never read it and he’d hate it if he did. It’s enough to get it off my chest and out of my head. Sorry for the rest of y’all along for the ride. The Passive Aggressive Express needs to leave the station.

Dear Bratface,

First off, fuck you for making me sing country songs. I may forgive you for the rest of this bullshit someday, but not that. You’re a jerk for that.

Of all the basic boys in the world, I never thought you were one of them. What a shitty mistake on my part, and what a dick move on yours. Thanks for the hard lesson… and for the rest of the hard things you gave me. You taught me, yet again, that sometimes the biggest regrets come wrapped in pretty paper and good intentions. You promised me orgasms, not misery… and I’d like a refund.

When you smile at me smugly, I hear Rihanna singing to me. I can’t explain how horrible it is when desire becomes need, though I’m confident you’ll know at some point and I hope you think of me when you’re in the depths of your suffering. I would shamelessly sell my soul to buy the clothes off of your body. I close my eyes at night and see you and wake up wanting you even more than I did the day before. This is definitely the worst of the worst sort of addictions, asshole.

They say sexual health is important and I found a miraculous shortcut thanks to you. The say my name game is a new favorite of mine and it works with or without you present. One question: Do your ears itch every time I scream your name?

You didn’t think it was all going to be nice, did you? You shouldn’t have. I don’t appreciate being toyed with and when I do finally shake this awful affliction, you’re going to miss that girl who was so stupid over you. You’re going to miss her a lot.

Yeah as much as I joke, I don’t like being treated like shit and have worked too hard to let self doubt come creeping back in. The fuck outta here with that. You’re the crazy one for not rolling the dice with a full house in your hand.

I can taste you when I hear this song start to play. If there’s one song I race to skip just to avoid the highlight reel that runs through my mind, it’s this awful audible memory that I can’t shake. The least you could have done was let me get sick of you. Ugh. You destroyed my running playlist and I hate you for it.

I’m so sad you’re not a little braver and bolder. This could have been really fun. At this point though, there’s been far more suffering than satisfaction. I love every delicious inch of you, but enough is enough.

Take care. xoxo J


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