Cunty McCunterson

It takes a lot to piss me off.

It didn’t use to.

Something broke in me when I shifted gears from single mother to lone superhero. Raising a baby alone has a way of humbling you and softening the hard edges you once thought were so important. I’ve been shocked by my own ignorance many times… even on the heels of 20 years of motherhood.

I still don’t know everything.

But I do know a few things very well.

I am still the very last one you should fuck with because as nice as I am, there’s a proverbial graveyard of arrogant people fertilizing my life.

I have worked through retail, serving and now management. The roles I used to roll my eyes at have become my daily life. I am that boss lady those bossy tendencies moulded me into. All that power I was so afraid of, actually fits comfortably in my hands. I’m a benevolent leader and if it’s one thing I can guarantee, it’s that my employees appreciate the kindness I lead with in teaching them anything.

All because I’ve worked under some real cunts. I have a least favorite of all time but for once, I can at least compliment her on being a monster right to everyone’s face.

The truly awful cunts are those that masquerade as decent people. You know the ones. Those insipid evil people that work overtime to hide their true nature, only to stab you in the back while they hug you.

If I don’t like you? Oh you’ll know it. I don’t mince words and I don’t play nice. If I hate you? I’m silently cold and painfully consistent. The people I hate feel my vitriol just as deeply as the people I love, feel adored. I don’t do anything half way and that’s a great thing when you’re a special person in my life.

But heaven help you if you’re an enemy. Just like the dark side of the moon, I am equally as horrible an adversary as I am a bright ray of sunshine in the lives of the people I treasure.

I had the great fortune of replacing a cunt in my current position. The manager I started under was one of those miserable people that doles out suffering with a sly grin, ever hopeful that she’ll push someone just far enough that they’ll snap and alleviate her of any responsibility. Not that she ever felt any in the first place.

When I started, she liked to make back handed comments about my weight, laughed about me being the “low man on the totem pole” and stuck me with menial tasks designed to make me want to leave early or quit entirely. I took a huge financial hit just to get away from her. I took even more hits from her on the chin and turned the other cheek.

Then I was promoted and took her job.

I tried to be kinder and gentler to her. I really believe you can lead by example and make people feel loved and appreciated so much that they want to give you their best efforts.

Unless someone is just a miserable cunt, ala Cunty McCunterson.

This little old bully has tormented my friends, my child and me. She’s the mean dog with the loudest bark and up until yesterday, silenced the nice people around her by being vicious.

I’d forgotten how powerful the truth can really be, when spoken quietly and clearly. Even in the face of a liar with a smorgasbord of lies. There’s something so empowering about taking a stand in your own corner and refusing to bullied.

It’s a great day when you throw that rock back and hit that fucker right in the eye.

It’s a wonderful day when the good guys win.

She went low, and I went for the jugular. That’s how it works with me anymore. I’ve had my years as the nice girl, but I got sick of being a passenger in my own life a long time ago and if someone has anything less than the best of intentions for me, I don’t have an iota of time for them.

Dealing with her made me realize a lot about how much I settle for romantically. I would never put up with that kind of shit when it comes to my friends or career. They say absolute power, corrupts absolutely… but I find that it compliments the side of my character that is “too nice”.

I don’t have any time or space in my day for unpleasant assholes and I’ve realized that I’m not so bad at firing them, either. I protect myself and my people and I’m proud of the two feet I’ve learned to stand on.

Especially when they’re standing on the hands of the cunt that dared to mess with me and mine.



2 thoughts on “Cunty McCunterson

  1. Here here! I try to be nice because that’s the sort of person I am, but unfortunately I’ve been trampled over more times than I can count. When that happens, you can be sure I’ll freeze you out, and that’s not me being a bitch, it’s common sense. I’m like you – if I don’t like you, I don’t pretend, I avoid crossing paths with you. Why would I want to stay friends with a born backstabber? I use the term ‘born backstabber’ because some people are natural born c***s, they’ll never change. Even when they try making amends, they mentally sharpening that knife whilst hugging you close. Call me a bitter cow, but I’ve heard too many stories of people who regreted giving their foes a second chance, and sometimes it’s good to stick to your principles.

    1. YAY TAMI!!!! I am completely in agreement. Fool me once ,shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I don’t give second chances to people who disrespected the first one. ♥

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