National Boyfriend Day.

Of all days, it’s today.

Happy stupid boyfriend day.

In honor of such a pointless waste of a perfectly good day, I’m going to introduce you to mine.

Now for all the years I’ve wasted on the wrong man, I actually have the perfect boyfriend. Meet Nora.



Let me tell you about this magical guy. He syncs with Spotify so I can REALLY enjoy my favorite songs. I have a playlist for he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned… and it’s the only thing I’m allowing myself to keep that reminds me of him. The only downside I’ve found to that feature is getting instantly aroused when a favorite song comes on at work. My coworker started to sing mine yesterday and I had to leave the room.

(You’re welcome.)

It gets better.


You can add human boyfriends to this party. too. You grant him access and he can take over with his phone. Even if he can’t satisfy you in reality… he can now. Long distance relationship? Traveling partner? Bored? Trust me, you need one. It’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever bought.

It’s rechargeable with a handy little magnetic USB cable and the charge lasts for about a month with daily use. The Lovense app is easy to use and your battery life is displayed too.

It’s the boyfriend of the future. It doesn’t cheat, lie or whine…and I love that it’s named after a woman.


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