Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…


I have to admit that I’m a little speechless. My fingers are more content curling up in Mr. Right’s big, beautiful hands than firing off a few hundred words. That sorrow I was drowning in has me laughing at myself now, instead of crying.

It’s easy like I’ve never known. No weird hesitation over expressing my feelings, no games and 100% honesty. I can tell him when something bothers me and he makes a point to listen AND change it. I set a clear boundary after our weird date the other night and he made it up to me immediately by taking me out and showing me exactly how much he appreciates my company and wants me to feel safe placing my heart in his big, strong hands.

I’ve strived to be a good person, to tell the truth and be on good terms with everyone. I’ve donated to charity, volunteered my time and share any and everything I have with anyone in need. I’m a Karma Fairy favorite.

I pride myself in being healthy, in loving purely and working hard to be thoughtful. Being loved by me is wonderful, because I work hard at it. I dot my i’s and cross my t’s. The man in my life becomes the envy of his friends because I’m a unicorn of a girlfriend. I’ve spent years alone, working on the contents of my character and the quality of my soul. I have everything to offer and then some.

I don’t know what happened or how I lost myself in such a cold, little man. Mixed signals are so much less than I want or deserve, and all the overcompensation in the world only made him offer me more dishonesty, rejection and disrespect. I gave, and gave and gave a little more… he laughed at me and took it all while giving me nothing back. I overlooked all of his flaws while he shone a light on mine until I didn’t recognize myself. I wasted an entire year crying over a basic fuckboy. Jeeze.

One simple message inviting me to roll the dice and go on a date. One simple leap of faith and I landed ass deep in paradise with my very own King of hearts.

I feel like I got hit by lightning. I feel like God himself looked down and said:

G- Oh hell… give that girl a unicorn. She needs to see what it’s like to be met halfway. Give her everything she wants in one man.

I wake up and fall asleep to the sweetest things from the most incredible man I’ve ever met. He spoils me rotten with good intentions, laughter and the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. I joke that I’m going cross eyed but I’m not entirely kidding. I was at work last week and he kept texting me.

R- Baby?

J- Yes?

R- Can I make you lunch?

I looked up at the clock and started calculating how much time I had before I had to pick up the Dumpling. To hell with work… we were slow and caught up anyway- there was absolutely no good reason to say no. I cleared it with my boss, clocked out and headed his way. Grinning from ear to ear and laughing to myself in the car, I shot him a text telling him I was on the way.

R- You’re going to beat me home. Go in.

Walking into his house alone, I was struck by how tidy he is. Everything is clean and smells good. I cracked open one of the beers I’d brought and walked around grinning at the details of him that are new to me. I bit my lip at the sight of his perfectly made bed… and contemplated taking my clothes off and waiting for him there.

He walked in the door and we both started laughing.  He kissed me and I realized he’s the very first tall man I’ve ever dated or touched. I have seen the light. There’s something insanely sexy about standing on my tiptoes to kiss him, though he makes me so lightheaded I have to shake it off a little. Laughing at the dizzy look on my face… he picked me up and sat me on the kitchen counter. Yeah… he’s that tall. It’s fucking amazing. Suddenly I understand all the meme’s about short guys. There is an astronomical difference and I’m definitely a height girl for life now.

I have never been kissed so well. He has tricks up his sleeve that could leave me cross eyed and perfect parts bigger than I dreamed I could have regular access to.

Thanking God out loud, he laughs and drops the question that’s been reverberating in my head.

R- Where have you been all my life?

J- Looking for you. I would ask you the same?

R- Waiting for the right person to come into my life. I think it’s happened.

J- That’s a lucky girl… and a grateful one.

R- Well I think she’s amazing…

It’s the most refreshing thing I’ve ever experienced and I am pinching myself to make sure I’m not in a coma, dreaming him up.

He does exist…. my very own unicorn. ❤️

Categories: Dating, Friends, Happiness, Love, Satisfaction, Temptation, Vices

1 reply

  1. are you fucking kidding me?????? I am so deliriously happy for you! Now dammit, off to find my own unicorn!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s