Left on Read

ghosting

I don’t mean to… honestly I don’t. I read the messages when they chirp in. I just don’t remember to respond for a while… or ever. The first sign of stalking, the first inappropriate comment or out of context proposition, or after receiving an unsolicited dick pick… I ghost them all.

I don’t mean to be rude, but if I’m already feeling disrespected or annoyed, I’m done talking. That whole “Good morning, Gorgeous” crap they do now is not my favorite, either. After four days of receiving that text, what is there to say?

D- Good morning, Gorgeous.

J- Awwww, thanks.

D- Good morning, Sunshine.

J- Awww you too.

D- Good morning, Beautiful.

J- Thank you! Happy Tuesday.

D- Good morning, Pretty girl.

No.

Not just no. Fuck off with that. It’s annoying, generic and I can’t help but wonder how many other ladies are on these “Good morning” texter’s list. There’s also something unnerving about always being referred to by your physical appearance. I have some damn ugly mornings and I’m so much more than a pretty face. Now if he said “Good morning, you bad ass knitter. I’d have something to say. That guy is getting a date.

It’s difficult to navigate boy feelings when asking them to stop doing something other girls have encouraged. Some of you must love these early greetings? I can’t understand why, but to each her own. The last guy I was seeing was a constant fixture in my phone. Morning, noon and night, I was on the receiving end of a hurricane of compliments. The first three days were great… and then it got weird. If I didn’t respond within a half hour, he was worried I was mad and it became a discussion.

WTAF.

Texting is my preferred form of communication, but it can be a full time job with a boyfriend, or even worse if you’re dating several people at once. They have nicknames but I can never keep them straight and frankly the onslaught of digital love notes leaves me dry and angry. The quickest way to get ghosted is to inundate me with attention, novel length messages and phone calls.

I should spell that out from the beginning… and I’ve tried… but men listen as well as women do when we don’t want to. After a week of hearing those messages rapid firing into my phone, I set him to silent, a tiny moon pops up by his nickname and I forget he exists. This is why I don’t date locally… because running into them at the grocery store after you ghost them is AWKWARD. I smile at everyone, so when I’m caught mid-grin by the realization that the man glaring back at me is the weirdo I ghosted after a horrible date, I’m mortified.

Ghosting isn’t nice… but it works, dammit. Some of them reappear after a few months of silence, but that little moon is forever. The Heathen sent me 19 text messages yesterday and I’m sorry- but what do you think is going to happen when you harass someone with your interest?

Fess up… do you tell them you aren’t interested? Or do you vanish into the ether like me??

One thought on “Left on Read

  1. Maybe I’m old fashions or maybe just old, but ghosting is a cowardly move. Take the time to say to someone by phone, text or in person that the morning texts about your appearance is getting stale. Tell them your good morning SUNSHINE or beautiful is annoying af and to STOP IT. Or soften it up and say you are not a morning person and would appreciate texts in the afternoon. Either way you are setting a boundary for him to respect. But, I must admit that if they dont get the message blocking or ghosting can be a step you have to take. It just shouldn’t be the first option.

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