Day 2: Discuss your current relationship.

Just the word “relationship” gives me hives. I have zero interest in any that resemble one I’ve had before. I have been exceedingly single for the past 6 years and I’m slightly afraid that I won’t ever want to belong to another human being again. 

Confession: Do you know what I have now? A girlfriend. 

I should introduce her a little, since you read all about the bad men I love. I should tell you a little more about the great lady in my life. 

She’s funny in all the moments I need her to be. She makes me laugh when I’m on the verge of looking for rope to hang from the rafters with. She laughs at my bad jokes and finds even worse for me.

She loves dad jokes and cheesy pick up lines. 

She’s resilient in ways I couldn’t ever dream up. She juggles more than she should try to keep in the air and she rarely drops a thing. If she does, she laughs it off and tries again. It’s one of my favorite things about her. 

She’s crafty AF and there are times I hate her for the mess her creative process results in. She leaves yarn and knitting needles EVERYWHERE. She has a glue gun on the counter where most women leave makeup and she saves WAY too much in the hopes it can be repurposed into something magical.

She’s always silky soft, smells amazing and has a difficult time saying no, three more of my favorite things. She’s the sexiest girl I’ve ever met, with an appetite to match. She keeps me awake at night, most nights. I’m not complaining because those are the most noteworthy and satisfying nights in my life. 

She’s sensitive beyond reason, but that’s the cost of feeling everything so deeply. She loves so freely that she leaves pieces of herself behind with every failed attempt. It doesn’t make her jaded and I’m forever in awe of how wantonly reckless she is in pursuit of her own happiness.

She has a million fucks to give, without hesitation or regret. 

She can cook and bake the pants off anyone, any day. No culinary mountain is too high and she rejoices in purchasing another kitchen appliance if necessary. This darling woman may be the death of me, but I will die satisfied, well fed and with an enviable mitten collection, if nothing else 

She’s driven, she’s focused… and she’s fucking lethal if/when she wants to be. She doesn’t like no and doesn’t wait to be disappointed. She will smile you into submission, charm you into agreeing to things you don’t want to do and persuade you to capitulate willingly enough that you think it was your idea in the first place. 

Like a walking bowl of hot and sour soup…she warms you from the inside out and leaves a sharp reminder in your mouth that even the sweetest girls have a flip side. 

It’s taken me 43 years to find her, to love her and to celebrate the good and not so good parts of what makes her my best friend. 

She’s me. 

For the first time in my life I’ve focused on building a better relationship with myself and the parts that make me cringe. Instead of searching for validation in a man, I’ve spent the last few years focused on BEING a good partner as opposed to looking for one. 

It’s still early but I have to say.. I think she’s the one. 🙂


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