Set my thoughts adrift…

She wears one of my favorite symbols…The bee… a sign of resurrection and natural potential…. The symbol of Kings… and the loving seal of Napoleon when he wrote letters to Josephine… She wears them with pride… they are beautiful tattoos…and I’m a huge admirer of them…

The incredible persona that is Jenni is who I’d like to fill this space with…she fills the roles necessary to make the world seem right… she’s a mother, a cook, a farmer, a lover, a beautiful temptress, a wildcat, both in the sack and out of it….she’s a tempting bit of Mormon-meets-Catholic yet in the wild ways all boys love to hear but really don’t want to know….beware of the claws… in a moment of passion they can drive through your shirt like it’s soft icecream on a midsummer’s day…

Jenni is a girl who sets my thoughts adrift… creative bits of small emails litter our respective inboxes with tidbits about the day’s ability to break a person down.  She and I share addictions….we are addicted to the opposite sex…however, our selection process is very different…  I look for life….vivacious…mezmerizing…..  She, on the other hand, looks for vice, for Mr. Now wmixed with a possibility of lasting a couple of weeks, but those boys aren’t strong enough to work with the tools God gave them to shape something that could be a beautiful relationship.

So what is it that Jenni craves?  My view is pretty simple…  She craves what all humans crave….appreciation.  Honestly at times she’s more than a little drama filled, yet I can’t take my eyes off the impending crash that is coming.  The boys that she chooses are more about her personal eye candy than what they will do for her.  Her real type of man?  Strong, clean lines, takes care of himself and shows pride in what he does.  He’s a little angry but he’s too mysterious to let you know what he’s angry about.  She deserves something different….she deserves something that shakes her foundation to the core and allows her to realize she’s got what many others don’t have…  she has vision of what she could be.  I’ve seen more stories about men who have treated this girl in such a dire wrong way, that I want to beat the fuck out of them and go nap to rest my weary arms then pummel them once more to show her she’s worth the effort to stand up for… 

If you say that she’s not craving appreciation, but she’s craving something less than that, I’ll let you know that anyone in this day and age can go out to any bar out there and hook up for the sake of hooking up.  Jenni is not some dime-a-dozen kinda girl.  They just don’t grow on trees like this one.  She’s got a lot of people from my blog reading her material and living vicariously through her dating adventures.  Me?  I’m on the opposite side of the fence…  She needs someone strong enough to hold her….restrain her from the ways that I’m so guilty of myself and allow her to relax and feel like she’s worth so much more than the moment of ecstasy in sex….she’s the kind of girl who wants the adventure that’s never been afforded to her.

She’s at the razor’s edge with me…  I’m a guy who will tell you how I feel and I’m sad on one hand and I’m excited on the other.  She’s got the drive that I love…always on the go with a fire and some drive in her….she dresses like I can appreciate the figure underneath the clothes…the men she has chosen?  Well they’ve stripped her dignity along with her boat, her finances, and her hope.  I want to  give her all of those things.  You should help her rebuild hope too… 

I am capable of being all things to nearly all women.  I’m never sure if I’m going  to hurt a girl or not, but one thing I have down pat…..she’s going to feel like she’s the most important woman in my amazing life.  That’s the kind of love that she deserves….someone soft…and if she complains a little about going to slowly or being a bit bored, be a man and give her the attention she seeks and then return back to the person who starts his night by asking her to come closer….leaning in ever-so-softly and telling her, she’s beautiful in a voice barely distinguishable to make the words hit the hardest impact on her soul….it’s her soul that needs the love and attention…it’s her mind and ego that deserves to be loved ever so gently. 

She works so hard to have so little.  She reminds me of how I am….a lot of heaven mixed with a smidgen of hell.  I love her attitude and she’s not my ideal Mormon version of purity, but she’s got something most girls don’t have and that’s a ton of heart.  She gives and wants to please and be accepted for the incredible person she is.  She makes me smile by simply reading her thoughts on paper and wishing that I could be there to wipe away her tears.

Sure she’s volatile…we all can be, but one thing’s for sure….with an effort that is strong, and determination that males mules green with envy, and a heart that needs nurturing,  she’s not on the highway to hell….she’s on her way to being loved for everything she brings to the table… 

Men, If you’ re going to date her, be strong enough to rein her in, on the flip side, be strong enough to love her with the same amount of attention you gave her before she ever laid a finger on you…date her, don’t bore her….respect her and let her understand where real strength comes from… 

Oceans between us….yet she’s just a thought away… a beautiful opportunity that makes me wanton….but I’m not weak…she makes me strong, she knows I’m sincere and  want only the absolute best for her and her little family.  Thoughts of who she is in a sun dress walking down a row of grapes in Sonoma…yes, the girl who no man could turn away easily…Living so far away from Vacationville, makes it difficult at best to ever know if we will ever meet, I do want more than anything for her heart to be free and find that man who makes her complete.  I search honestly for something much bigger than myself…yet I have everything I’ve always wanted….including the belle of the ball..yet I don’t feel it.  Jenni makes those thumps in my chest move a bit more upbeat and she’s got nothing to give other than herself…which is the finest gift any man could accept from her. 

The amazing girl sets my thoughts adrift… an incredible boat without a captain, driving through the night looking for safe harbor…toss out an anchor and set it hard in the sandy bottom and view the serenity around you…breathe for a change and accept no crew’s advances when you only deserve a captain…  For me, I’m always a pirate…yet for you…I would sail in the most gentle of waters, looking out for the integrity of more than just the beautiful moments that we are locked in while sailing….but to places I’ve never seen, doing things you’ve only wished you could do…  it’s what you deserve… 

Incredible girl, my heart is in my chest filled with hope…  that hope belongs to you…take it…

T.