30 Days of Truth, Day 3

30 Days of Truth, Day 3- Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This is some sort of blog torture… I have plenty to forgive myself for… and seeing as I’m feeling penitent… I figure a list works better than anything, right?

  • I have to forgive myself for buying my kids those stupid Nintendo DS things. I read constantly as a kid and every time I see my daughter playing on it I realize she would be reading if I hadn’t bought it. Big over-achiever mom thing- and I should forgive myself- she loves it- and we have fun playing with it together too.
  • I have to forgive myself for wasting 7 years on a dirty hippie. I’m a die-hard optimist… and am too accepting. I had picket fences in mind and he was more focused on a guerrilla grow. It was doomed from the beginning- but I should forgive myself for being responsible for those lost years. We are both responsible. Actually no, it’s his fault.
  • I have to forgive myself, yet again, for not planting more carrots & beets. I’m only one person- I can only plant so much… but I kick myself every year for not planting more.
  • I have to forgive myself my complete and total lack of judgment this weekend… because I’ve been put to extreme levels of sexual frustration in the last few months- and hate me for saying it- but it was damn good sex and I feel a million times better. So there. Hate me. Does it really matter at this point?
  • I have to forgive myself for planting more than I could take care of. It’s given me back my body though- and I’m completely addicted to exercise as a result… so if you think about it… the garden has extended my life expectancy and improved my sex life. Three cheers for the gym!

So I have more than a few things… in fact I could keep going but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t go out and pick the tomatoes that ripened today, because they’d be gone after tonight.

and then I’d have to make a whole new list… ­čÖé

Sad Mommy Soup

I woke up this morning hoping it would rain… please… please, please. I’m heartsick and sad and don’t want to stare at the stupid sun. I want to clean the house until you can eat off the floor… pick vegetables… and snuggle with my little princess in front of a movie. To hell with a dress… I’m in my ultra loud strawberry pajama pants and my favorite ugly sweatshirt… hell even my socks don’t match.

But I’m soft- warm and so sad… so I’m enjoying the hell out of the Sad Mommy uniform. Which is just one more reason I don’t want a boyfriend… I love days like these every once in a while. I can’t even tell you how many times the dirty hippie tried to steal my favorite sweatshirt. Fucker- there are rules about favorite clothes… and I’m thankful I managed to keep it. Yes… I know it’s a horrible shade of pink… and it’s at least 3 sizes too big… but I liken it to a hug from my Dad… it’s big, perfectly broken-in, and I can paint the house or weed the garden in it.

Being in a relationship should never mean sacrificing your favorite clothes. Ever.

I’m surrounded by vegetables. Buckets and buckets of potatoes, garlic EVERYWHERE… not to mention hundreds of shallots. Tomatoes on the counter, laundry baskets full of basil, bowls of baby zucchini & carrots, and beets ready to be pickled. I’m drowning in veg… and in my own sadness. I really blew it this weekend- and I’m gloomy sad.

Soup to the rescue (because it works every time.)

This is my very favorite easy soup recipe… and a more heart felt apology, of sorts… because I don’t share it and once you try it… you’ll know why ­čÖé

Husband Soup, named by my girlfriend who swears I can’t give this to men recklessly or I’m liable to end up in captivity again.

8 cups chicken broth, preferably homemade, but the store bought variety works almost as well.

8 cups peeled & cubed potatoes

3-4 shallots, peeled & diced

1-2 cloves of garlic, diced

1 tsp salt (I salt to taste, but start here)

1 tsp pepper (you can use white pepper if you’re uptight about seeing the pepper in your soup)

2 8 oz. packages of cream cheese (and buy Philadelphia, it tastes better, I swear.)

2 cups of each of the following: mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, celery, etc, anything you want really.

  1. Combine broth, potatoes and spices.
  2. Saute your other veggies separately.
  3. Boil on medium heat until potatoes are tender.
  4. Smash a few of the potatoes to release their starch for thickening.
  5. Reduce to low heat.
  6. Add your sauteed veggies.
  7. Add cream cheese.
  8. Heat, stirring frequently, until cheese melts.

It really is amazing- and easy enough you can make it in minutes, even if you’re not feeling like cooking and you’d rather order pizza. There’s something amazingly soothing about peeling potatoes… and dicing them into tiny cubes. The entire act of cooking something you grew… is pretty obscenely fabulous. More than that? You can’t feel sorry for yourself when your babies eat themselves sick on soup & homemade bread.

You can embrace your gorgeous domestic self…and smile yourself right back to happy.