Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…

Agony

The high cost of help

Admittedly, I like to do everything myself. It’s not that I’m a control freak, I just know that people rarely do things without expectations and I don’t like being beholden to anyone. But…everyone has their breaking point and we’ve gotten two feet of snow this weekend. My right elbow is angry and screams loudly with every heavy shovel full. To say I’m exhausted is an epic understatement, and the snow […]

Continue Reading →

Perspective

Other than the dark fog of that first month of raising a newborn alone, I don’t know a day I’ve been more exhausted. My eyeballs ache, along with every single inch of the rest of my body. I hardly slept and it shows. I had to schlep everything back home from my mom’s house today and it was a herculean task. I’m a whole lot of destroyed, today. Unfortunately, that […]

Continue Reading →

My Hero, Jess.

Early one morning before I was out of bed, my phone started ringing. I ignored it the first time, then flipped it over and saw it was my beloved friend Jess, who had moved to California. I launched out of bed and ran for the kitchen so I didn’t wake up the whole house when I shouted an exuberant HIIIIII!!!!! As soon as I heard her voice, I knew something […]

Continue Reading →

Silence

It’s been a long fucking week. I’ve been painting a happy face on and going through the motions all day, only to come home and freeze, entirely. The dishes have piled up, the washing machine stands silent and my bathroom sink reminds me of the gas station. My silent phone haunts me because I feel such a huge absence of Anthony. Even his daily infernal text message: A- Good morning […]

Continue Reading →

Repost: My Favorite Bookmark

Eight years ago, my beloved friend wrote this for me. I found it yesterday in the archives while I was looking for something else. I haven’t checked if his links connect to anything and some of it may be scandalous as hell, but it’s such an incredible reminder to tell your friends and family how much you love about them, and why. Write it down. It may be all they […]

Continue Reading →