Category Archives: Blogging

A favorite memory…

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My tattoos make some people uncomfortable. It’s only recently that I’ve been really comfortable letting them all hang out. I never really thought one of them through, though…. I got it in utter defiance to the mortification I was feeling.

It was January of last year, and my blog had been sent out to people I went to high school with for YEARS. My ass was verbally hanging out. Hey there, hi there… how do you do? My favorite bartender knew about my worst dates. The bitches that hated me in high school were laughing over my self proclaimed heartache and bad taste in men. I was in shock. I really am incredibly private otherwise. I don’t like men talking about having sex with me in public. I’m not a piece of ass, I’m a lady, regardless of my penchant for bad boys.

A lady who happens to be in touch with her sexual side… so shoot me.

It was chatting with my friends online that my dear friend Miss Creative coined me the Blogoddess. I was in hiding, wearing dark glasses to the grocery store and constantly faced with people approaching me about it.

I died a million deaths that month… and still it continues. Whatev.

I learned to hold my head up. I learned to fail. I perfected the art of falling prey to sweet talkers. Jesus… if I didn’t earn a gold medal in naivete this year, I pity the poor girl that did. I like falling in love- enough that I don’t mind the sledgehammer to the heart when it goes wrong. I’m happy when I’m in love. I glow… ask anybody.

I thought they’d removed my douche bag magnet but apparently they removed my common sense instead. I’m scheduled for the reversal, but beyond that- I’ve come light years in having more faith in myself and continuing to have faith in humanity in spite of the constant proof I’m given to the contrary.

I met my favorite tattoo darling that week, with my nickname carved into my arm and a friendship forged in confidence. But since then I’ve learned to be a little self conscious about it because I don’t want anyone else I know to read this crap, lol… and it requires an explanation that I’m generally hesitant to give.

“It’s a long story” is my canned answer.

But fighting back tears missing him, ordering burgers around 11, our very flamboyant cashier leans forward and smiles at me.

C- I love your tattoos. What does that say? That’s beautiful!

I’m delighted, because no compliment counts so much as one from a gay man.

He speaks up and says “She writes a lot online, thank you senor.”

J- It says Blogoddess…

and this adorable boy smiles at me and sets it all straight…

C- You are and those letters are beautiful- and I am a little boy, not a man, Senor.

We laughed all the way out… and it was absolutely the funniest tattoo experience I’ve had so far. I usually wrap something around myself. I love them, but some people judge you for them. I’m sensy.

But being with someone that wanted me present in the moment made me leave the wrappy thing in the car. I love them, that should be enough for everyone and if it’s not, well then… fuck off- don’t get a tattoo. I left it in the car, only to have the sweetest of compliments paid to me.

It was one of many cool moments in a whirlwind of chaos.

Some fires burn too brightly to burn for long… this experience has been a flash fire in my life, and I’m damn proud I can take away the good moments because it really was fun.

Just one more lesson in a very long line…

I dropped my entire suitcase off at the thrift store, happy to never see any of it again; closing a painful chapter in my life, once and for all.

Ordering a pizza, while breaking out my little black book and ordering some new panties. Misery loves company, and why not be wrapped in cute little red lace panties when I greet him at the door?

Preconceived Notions…

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I’m always amused by the people who read my blog and think it’s a description of my character or even a shadow of who I really am.

I’m especially bemused by the people who believe everything they read. I’d be willing to bet these are the same folks that watch Fox news.

This is my verbal exhale, my wordy little cathartic playground. Play nice or fuck off. Yeah… that’s how it is.

I couldn’t care less if you’re critical, judgmental or hell-bent to dislike me. Go ahead- drink your big ol’ glass of Hater-ade and keep on reading. If anything you inspire me to be spicy…just to get under your skin and piss you off.

I’m an amazing woman. I’m a great daughter, a happy mommy and so very much more than a bunch of words typed in anger, sadness, disappointment… or even joy, love and hope.

If I’m going to be judged by anyone? It’ll be by the people I love and care about that I choose to have in my personal life. If you know me personally? Then none of this comes as a surprise.

I’m the one that leaves dinner on your doorstep, takes your kids when you’re sick and knits your mom a hat when she has cancer and all her hair falls out. True story.

I love deeply… I forgive quickly… and I do not carry a grudge. I move through my life with respect to everyone and everything around me. I say nice things. I do nice things. I believe in Karma before all else, and if you think for a second that I don’t judge myself a million times harder than anyone? Think again.

There’s a lot you’ll never know about me, because for as much as I share… I am intensely private and constantly concerned about hurting someone’s feelings. I don’t like it when people dislike me- and I will go to the ends of the earth to apologize when I’m wrong.

My mother told me nearly every day as a child… “To err is human, to forgive, divine”. We were browbeaten with the golden rule & taught to help, love & nurture the people and things in our lives.

So shoot me if I’m a bit of a vixen behind closed doors… shouldn’t every fantastic woman be?

I’ve put my trust where it wasn’t valued, and I’ve shared my heartache with the masses. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes then I apologize for your inept holier than thou attitude… OH and I have a list of guys I’d love to set you up on a date with… <snicker>…

I’ve made turning the other cheek an art form and have learned to keep my chin up even as the water flooded in up to my pearl-clad earlobes.

I’m a woman, Phenomenally… Phenomenal woman, that’s me. – Maya Angelou

Feeling a little sensitive this morning, obviously… and definitely annoyed that people still waste time judging anyone else- but whatev… If it’s one thing I’ve learned by blogging, it’s that you can’t please everyone, and sometimes it’s just a lot more fun to tell someone to kick rocks, plus I’m pretty good at burning the verbal house down.

Would life be any fun if we were all the same? No. Would it be better if I wasn’t outspoken? No. Should I give a fuck what anyone thinks? No. That’s their shit- not mine.

I happen to think I’m pretty sweet. I think you’d have a hard time arguing with me if you were a friend of mine, or loved by me. In fact, I know this- because I make an effort to really truly love the people I’m blessed to have in my life.

All of whom would go to the ends of the Earth for me, because I’d do the same.

Some things you don’t know- and should… because obviously I care what you think even though I wish I didn’t, lol….

~ I’m a sentimental hoarder. I save all the art projects, all the report cards, etc… that my children have made. My favorites are laminated… ya know… because they’re my most priceless possessions. I have a china cabinet in my living room full of homemade “treasures”. People look in it and laugh… but if the house caught on fire I’d risk my life to save its contents.

~ I’ll hold your baby while you eat, even while I’m working. I’m that nice lady that refills your drink and charms your little monster long enough that you can eat hot food. Regardless of the tip or if it affects your opinion of me. I do it because I love little people and I’m a supermom.

~ I remember what your favorite color is, your favorite candy… your favorite flowers- because I’m thoughtful and I want you to have what you love on your birthday.

~ I write under pressure of a deadline because I’m writing a book and I would love to not have to ask “Would you like chips or fries with that” for the rest of my life. I look at the big picture, not the thumbnails. I care about the example I set for my children and though I’m proud that I’m able to support this crazy expensive household… it’s more important to me that they see me do what I love and what I enjoy because I want that for both of them.

~ Regardless of money being ridiculously tight- you can have my last $5 if you need it. I give freely with no expectation of the same being returned. I won’t hassle you to repay it- but if you don’t it will definitely be the last time. I’m nice, not stupid :)

~ I make heart shaped pancakes… and I’m so OCD I separate the batter so that some of them are pink and some of them are white… I know… it’s silly… but those are the little details that make me have a wonderful day….I don’t eat them. ♥

~ I feed the cat tuna fish and the dogs chicken and rice every once in a while… purely because I would be miserable if I had to eat the same old boring dry crunchies every day.

~ I put my extra pennies in the take-a-penny dish at the gas station.

I’m nice, dammit… and a blessing to have in your life if you’re so lucky.

So there.

Hmph…. I’m burning these damn people pleasing panties, once and for all.

Awww shucks…

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Three shiny awards in a week? I love shiny things!

When they come from other bloggers you respect, it means that much more.

Many thanks to AdaLamar’s Blog for this pretty pink Kreativ Blogger award. I’ve only recently started reading her blog, it’s inspirational and I relate to her in many ways.

The rules say I have to list ten things about myself… and I wonder what on earth I haven’t already confessed to… but it’s worth a shot…

1. I’m totally and completely addicted to Hempz lipgloss. It’s creamy silky heaven without being greasy- and it smells amazing. I cannot live without it.

2. I miss seeing cloth diapers hanging on the clothesline. Silly, I know… but it was such an amazing accomplished feeling to see them pinned up at the end of the day. I miss the easy sleepy routine of my children’s infancy. It was so much more simple then.

3. I’m a huge fan of murderous television, yet I can’t watch a scary movie without having nightmares. Go figure.

4. I could survive on tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and basil.

5. I’d rather use paper plates. I hate doing dishes.

6. I grew up without television, and don’t watch much still. It sucks me in and burns a whole day if I let it… and I have too many crafty hobbies to waste hours on television.

7. I think milk chocolate w/ sea salt is right up there with the perfection of bacon.

8. I shoveled the driveway three times today… and enjoyed it.

9. I’m ass over teakettle in love for the first time in my life, for all the right reasons.

10. I have at least 20 knitting projects started in the basket. Everything from turtles to hats to sweaters to a cashmere bikini. I work on them until I get bored, and pick something else up.

…and to one of my favorite new bloggers, I owe thanks, TWICE :)

And

Amor’s Thoughts. Thank you, thank you! I’m incredibly flattered!

Ok so 7 more things about me and I get to nominate all my favorite blogs, yes?

1. I gave up pasta a month ago and haven’t missed it, oddly enough. I eat enough salmon on salad that the guys in the kitchen tease me about it at work.

2. I have a ridiculous love for Lunchables. Ham and fake swiss cheese? Be still my heart. I feel the same way about microwave bean & cheese gas station burritos. Not particularly healthy, no… but deeeeeeelicious.

3. I love Brussels sprouts. Always have.

4. I have a word a day calender on my desk… because I’m a vocab junkie.

5. I wear sunscreen and drink diet pepsi… I figure they cancel each other out.

6. If I made more money than I could spend, I would spoil a housekeeper every day for the rest of her beautiful life.

7. I only chew sugarless gum, I have dental floss in my purse and a toothbrush in my glove box in the car.

I have to nominate people, huh?

My obvious favorite, Morning Wood. It’s just an amazing thing to read the thoughts of a man not afraid to have them, and to put the cherry on the perfect sundae? He has feelings too. Delicious words from my favorite divine Pirate.

My favorite funny blog- ever. Your Pal Jason. He has me in tears… not able to read the words aloud. I think he is the funniest man, ever. Good gawd dammit funny. One of the only blogs I have on immediate email delivery- so it even comes to me on my phone. Dig in and laugh yourself silly. He’s the best.

Everybody Wants Some… oh my how I love me some Crystal. Her blog about sexting is some of the funniest, sexiest blogging I’ve read. She’s funny and smart and everything we all want to be. Well rounded and so well written. Simply wonderful reading.

Aunt Becky makes me laugh until I cry. Bad day? I put my feet up, make myself a cup of tea and laugh for an hour with Mommy Wants Vodka… the second blog I ever got hooked on and the reason I started my own.

My very very favorite blog. The reason I learned to love to write. My dear Silvia. I started reading her blog in the end of my dismal relationship with the boat thief and she just plain saved me. She’s funny. Sexually graphic and feminine. She’s every delicious detail a woman should be… and she shares it with us on her blog. A bourbon for Silvia… the finest of the fine.

Tikk Tok. She brings me back to center. It’s peaceful chicken-y family goodness. I grew up on a farm, and I miss it. Her blog makes me want to buy chickens at the feed store every time I see them.

Edward Hotspur. A new favorite of mine. Wordy wordy goodness.

All delicious reading. All funny and entertaining and truly a joy to keep up with.

My Journey My Rules. My kindred sister-single mom. Most days that I read her blog it’s a near reflection of my life. Somehow I know she’s doing the best to do the same thing I am, and it feels nice to know you’re not alone in keeping a million balls in the air. Love, love, love her.

Odd Things in Cali Besides My Family. I’ve read her blog for ages and watching her fall in love with a great guy has been purely fantastic ♥

35maplestreet. A dear favorite of mine as well. We’re in the same mom boat together and she’s offered me so many kind words when I was drowning in it all. Her blog is wonderful reading.

Judgement Daze, my dear Maggie Malam. Love her! She’s been a favorite for a long time. ♥

My very favorite new blog I read regularly: Search 4 a Soul Mate, Cadence. She’s super funny, and proudly sexual like someone else I know. Love her words, love her blog- and find myself hoping along with her that it goes well.