Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…


The fuck outta here with that.

I’ve been trying to breathe through disappointment for a week. Trying to swallow uncomfortable feelings, ignore inescapable irritation and fight off frustration. Gulping words down my sore throat instead of spitting them out like I so desperately want to. Tall is great but real is better… and I don’t feel it at all with him. I feel convenient, annoyed and frustrated beyond belief. The “Good Morning Beautiful” texts may be […]

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I have to admit that I’m a little speechless. My fingers are more content curling up in Mr. Right’s big, beautiful hands than firing off a few hundred words. That sorrow I was drowning in has me laughing at myself now, instead of crying. It’s easy like I’ve never known. No weird hesitation over expressing my feelings, no games and 100% honesty. I can tell him when something bothers me […]

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I lost my appetite a year ago. Something about being in love with someone destined to keep on hurting me also stole my love for cooking and eating. Food is love to me and the absence of it in my life left me disinterested in eating more than was necessary to survive. I didn’t want a steak if the guy I wanted wouldn’t cook one for me. I know that […]

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The best date, ever.

I wasted an entire year of my beautiful life crying over not getting what I wanted. All the verbal temper tantrums and crying rants only stole my appetite, ruined my chances of sleeping through the night and shattered my self esteem. I got my first taste of scary depression and lost my map to the silver linings that always get me through the hardest situations. I lost myself in loving […]

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Derek the douchebag.

I knew when I agreed to this date that Derek was not my current type. I actually picked him for that reason. Let’s be honest… I’ve been ass deep in heartache and begging…. the least attractive a lady can be…. so I didn’t expect this to be a fun choice. This was a date based on vice, not vision. I have had a horrifying week full of sore muscles, financial […]

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