If you hurt me? Then you better brace yourself because you’ll be joining me, shortly.
I’d love to claim otherwise, but I’m a big fan of karma and the yin/yang of it all. I’m a kind person. I am thoughtful and helpful and the best kind of friend you could ask for. I give without expectation to receive.
To be loved by me is an incredible thing.
On the flip side, nobody envies my enemies.
I used to get angry. Now I just get gone. You don’t get my pain or the energy it would take to muster up a little venomous rage. You get my ice cold shoulder, my hostile silence and not so much as a slight effort of my help, where I once would have given you everything.
Unless you keep trying me.
I walked in yesterday, hating his presence. Too close to tears to say anything…and cold. Ice cold.
I- Why are you so mad?
I snapped. It happens. I am the biggest pushover in the world until I’m not. I’ve done my best to keep my shit together and put on a happy face.
However… every rope comes to an end, eventually.
J- I hope someday, when you’re comforting your daughter because some douchebag did this to her, you think of my face. All this time, I’ve been wracking my brain… trying to figure out how you got divorced and how she could ever want to live without you… and now? Now I think she made the right choice. I’ve done a million things for you, what did you ever do for me? Thanks for the orgasms, I guess.
No apology offered, and none expected if I’m going to be honest. It’s up to me to put this shit away and tuck him back into the stranger zone. It’s one of the hardest situations I’ve ever created but I’m nothing, if not resilient and funny.
I took him off every kind of social media and changed his text tone back to default. No more Yummy.
I left work early and canceled my boytoy weekend. Finally mature enough to know it would be a momentary solution that would cause long term problems. I’m more in the mood to play with the Dumpling and finally pack Christmas away than I am to be sexy. More in the mood for yoga pants than fish nets.
I was in bed by 8 with a few cats, the dog, the Dumpling and a handful of baby dolls. So grateful for the real love in my life and my cozy king sized bed full of beautiful reminders. I don’t have time for half-assed behavior from anyone because it takes time away from these treasures in my life who truly deserve it.
I’m over it.