30 Days of Truth, Day 21

30 Days of Truth, Day 21 – (scenario) Your best friend is in an accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

This is one of those days I’ve had to avoid for a while. It hit a little too close to home and I didn’t want to write about it. One more reason to blog… my blog= my universe. I’ve gotten 3 emails asking me to continue… ok ok ok.

My best friend died in 2002.She was 68 and incredibly important to me.

I met her in 1995… 18 years old , pregnant and living with my high school sweetheart. She became like a best friend, teacher & Grandmother all in one. She lived in the trailer next to ours and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with our son (@ 18 years old) and mowing the lawn. I thought she was going to have a heart attack when she looked out the window and saw how pregnant I was. She came running out with lemonade and an offer to finish it for me and we were best friends from then on. She was a grandmother to our son, and our daughter 5 years later. Vera was … words fail me actually- sometimes it’s impossible to describe how important some people are in your life.

Losing her made me reconsider everything in my life.

She always worried I wasn’t happy. She always said I was doing/giving/being someone I wasn’t… too much. She was right. Her death marked the beginning of my marriage’s unraveling. I’d been planning on having lunch with her the next day- and she’d gotten mad at me the last time we talked.

V- I hate your house. I want you to sell it and move back here.

J- I know you do. I miss you too. But you don’t mean that. How about we put your trailer here?

V- I’m sorry. I love you.

J- I love you too.

She died that night.  The neighbor called me the next day. Absolutely the saddest day of my life. A day that will make me appreciate and be kind to my ex-husband forever. He came home and took care of everything that day. He helped remind me that everything would be ok. He drove me to pick out her clothes. He was there for me in the hardest moment of my life when I felt like the world had come to a screeching halt. I couldn’t understand why people still drove around and the evening news was still on. It really devastated me.

and if I hadn’t called and talked to her, she would have died being angry at me…. and I don’t know how anyone could live with that. I’ve learned a great lesson in losing Vera.

I say “I Love You” too much. I smile at everybody (ok, not all the time, but most) I give people extra change if they need it. I buy the shitty over-priced cookies from the school cookie dough fundraiser because it’s important to my daughter (even though mine are much better and an 1/8th of the cost). Because I’d rather go out on good terms with everyone and I’d rather lose someone who knows in their soul that I love them. I’d rather err on the side of loving too much, too easily and out loud.

Thanks to Vera Lou- who used to sing “My Buddy” to me on my answering machine when she missed me.


Shark FAQ

I’ve gotten several emails asking for clarification… so here ya go.

1. What’s the definition of a shark?

THAT guy. The one your mom warned you about. Charming… sexy… aggressive…successful…confident…& most of all…persistent. He smells good, he’s a gentleman… and he looks at you like you’re his favorite thing on the menu. He’s dangerous- unfaithful and irresistible. You don’t wonder if he can do something, you wonder what he can’t do… He can kiss you until you forget your name and if you fail to realize that you’re in over your head, he’s capable of consuming you entirely.

2. Where can I get my own shark?

That’s a little tricky. You can’t really. Embrace your love of the shark and when you least expect it… one will be after you. Careful!

3. Us nice guys get a raw deal- women always like men that treat them like crap. Why do women prefer sharks???

Simple, because they like themselves. I can’t be more clear. Timid or nervous men are a complete buzz kill for most women. We want to know that you’re a confident man- that you’re protective- and that not only are you worth it- but you’re willing to work for what you want. I love nice guys- but all too often nice=boring. I’ve yet to meet a shark who didn’t have a hell of an imagination. Can’t say the same about “nice” guys. I don’t know a single woman that enjoys someone treating them like crap though- we all complain about that one.

4. I hate sharks- One broke my heart.

Only one? What are you complaining about? Sorry- I’m only half kidding. Out of my past relationships, I’ve had the most fun with a shark. The end can be brutal- or you can go in with your eyes open- knowing if you get careless- you could pay dearly. Make sure if you decide to roll the dice that you get an honest shark- it’s too volatile a situation to add lying to the mix.

5. Can you hook a shark for life?

Have you been to Sea World? Have you ever seen a happy shark there? The killer whales do cute little shows ….Oh…until one ate her trainer last year. Catch my drift? You might hook a shark initially… but they simply don’t do well in captivity. What will be undoubtedly exciting initially…will wear on you eventually. Every woman wants to feel like she’s enough for the man in her life… and you will never be enough for most sharks. Sad but unavoidable. Accept it… or give it up.

Personally… I compare my shark habit to smoking… I don’t smoke – and I hate it- but every once in a while…

I cave… give in to the craving… and go for it.

Knowing full well that the best idea is to avoid it entirely because it’s too easy to get addicted and it’s so hard to quit.