No Mas Tinder James

I’m so patient, I need an intervention because the amount of time I can quietly wait is more liability than life skill. I’ve been buried up to my eyeballs in stress, trying to finalize a new hire at work AND getting my ass LITERALLY handed to me via Insanity with Shaun T, every morning. I’m wearing thin and see a snap on the horizon.

The Tinder boys are a sad reminder of the state of the male population these days. Tinder Scott wants a selfie constantly. I am not that girl. I’m not interested enough to pretend I am.

Tinder James is in a league all his own. I don’t know what to say. Read for yourself. PS. We have not had a first date…. (nor will we).

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I can’t even deal with this guy. The sheer amount of text messages, drives me nuts. Yawn factor aside, let’s stop and address the dismembered heads in his freezer AND his decision to send them to me out of context. I realize I’m being an asshole, and should say something… but where would I even begin? What purpose would it serve?

#ghosted

It happens to the best of us, James.

Hitting a Nerve

This is my life.

He’s inches away, all day… and I die.

I feel that pain on her face in ways I never imagined I would.

He sat down last night and I was hit by the train that is his cologne.

I breathe through it and hold my own hands. I have a million regrets and a trillion cravings when it comes to him.

It’s his birthday and I’ve never wanted to be cake so much in my whole life.

Wanting a man that doesn’t want you, is the worst kind of self loathing. So I planned ahead and invited a team of snipers, dedicated to help save me from myself.

I didn’t give him the card.

I saved myself a little.

Kind of.

I came home having made the snipers proud. I had not said the things I wanted to. I climbed into my bed with my heartbroken self and started texting him…

…..

When my asshole cockblocking friends interrupted.

I may have shit taste in men (cause I’d be fucking him instead of whining about it right now if he were any real kind of spectacular) but I have impeccable taste in friends. I never knew I could feel so loved and heartbroken, simultaneously.

I didn’t wear what I wanted to.

I swallowed my words and digested my hurt feelings, as much as it broke my heart, freshly.

I’ve perfected the art of smiling through pain, I may as well use it.

My loving him doesn’t make him good. It won’t change the fact that he doesn’t love me back and it wont make it any more justifiable that I waste more time trying to convince him how wrong he is.

As much as that hurts like a heart attack.

Sometimes the man you love, doesn’t love you back. Even when it’s the stupidest mistake he’s ever made.

Sometimes, you are someone’s biggest mistake.

It’s evolution, y’all. You know you’ve gotten your shit together when you can smile at a man and know that you’ve learned something from him, whilst teaching him a life lesson.

It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes the lightning and thunder drive the lesson home, the hardest.