Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…

Torment

Perspective

Other than the dark fog of that first month of raising a newborn alone, I don’t know a day I’ve been more exhausted. My eyeballs ache, along with every single inch of the rest of my body. I hardly slept and it shows. I had to schlep everything back home from my mom’s house today and it was a herculean task. I’m a whole lot of destroyed, today. Unfortunately, that […]

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Derek the douchebag.

I knew when I agreed to this date that Derek was not my current type. I actually picked him for that reason. Let’s be honest… I’ve been ass deep in heartache and begging…. the least attractive a lady can be…. so I didn’t expect this to be a fun choice. This was a date based on vice, not vision. I have had a horrifying week full of sore muscles, financial […]

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Gone.

I lost my gay husband yesterday. I spent half the day on the phone with him, trying to talk him out of the jealousy that cripples him. I’ve had an unfaithful partner and know all too well how awful it feels to lay awake at night, wondering where they are. Wondering why you aren’t enough and why someone else is. Jealousy can ruin everything and insecurity is debilitating. When you […]

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Help

It was a long-ass weekend full of the worst parts of being a single woman. Firewood to chop and stack. A broken fence to repair. A lazy hippie who did a shitty job AND ripped me off, to deal with. A garage to clean and sort. Camping gear to put away. A chest freezer to empty and defrost. Mouse traps to set, oil to change… and that doesn’t even touch […]

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First date hesitation.

Since I gave Mr. Tinder my number, I’ve woken up to great stuff. Funny stories he thinks I might like, updates about the political debates and pictures of him out hiking somewhere wonderful. Daily good morning wishes, frosted with a compliment or three. I never text him first…. or last for that matter. He responds instantly any time I do. I remember now how to play all these dumb games […]

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