Blindsided

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50VWOBi0VFs He knows what cuts me the deepest and grins at my horrified face while the blade sinks into my heart. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I smile back at him while the pain blinds me.¬†Wanting someone at any cost, teaches you what your threshold for pain really is. Mine is masochistic…

A Most Unwanted Gift

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCqMKVeaUWI I woke up to him on my birthday, just like I'd been hoping and praying I would. My phone started shouting "YUMMY" at me after only a few hours of sleep, and my eyes snapped open like the last firecracker to go off. He has his own tone because I want to know when…

Golden

https://youtu.be/-Nvfjn3jKYc J- I don't want you dead. I just want you.... away. I- Oh Geeez, thanks. J- Like Australia, gone. I- Too hot. Try again. J- Alaska. I- I hate snow. Nope. Nice try, give up yet? J- My house. The look in his eyes makes me wish I were boneless so that he could…

A Very Unmerry Birthday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoaGSCmr_oM I'm pouting. Good old fashioned, can't get my shit together, pouting. I'm heartsick and prematurely disappointed over my birthday, which is this Friday. My friend Matt called today to sing to me because he insists on being first and he's going to be overseas. I started to get choked up and he leveled me…

Submission

One of the main tenets of conquering addiction is admitting that you are powerless over it. Submission offers the promise of relief from the suffering. Except when it comes to Mr. McHotstuff. I'm down with submitting but more along the lines of scratching this miserable itch than in hopes of getting him out of my…