Down memory lane…

He came walking in about a half hour before I got off work. Smiling, blonde and beautiful… in a suit.


I admit. I have a weakness. If you can tie your own tie, the chance of you tying me up increases exponentially.

A man in dress shoes… makes me blush.

I grew up in Hippieville… I remember the few times I saw a man in a suit and I’ve always been a fan. Give me a clean cut man with a silky soft beautiful neck above his collar? Dear God…

Who need diamonds at that point…???

Not I…

So Mr. Pin Stripe walked in and sat down, smiling. head tilted slightly back. Sharky… I know it when I see it.

P- I’d like a blonde… or your lightest…

Told ya so.

He leaned across me at nearly 6’5″ to put the aprons in my menus….

I mean….


That’s what it was like.

He leaned over me, his necklace fell an inch above my lips and I was enveloped by his cologne…

I sat back on the table behind me and he leaned in…

Good God and Baby Jesus there is nothing better than a good smelling man. Seriously.


I laughed and smacked him in the shoulder.

J- Damn you, my boyfriend is out of town, don’t torture your sweet server. Be nice.

P- I’d love to be nice…. out of town huh? What time are you off work?

Sometimes it’s nice to just sit back, smile… and laugh a little at how easy it can be. I spent years frustrated. I spent years unsatisfied.

and now it’s as easy as ordering off a menu and I don’t want it.

I only want one… and nothing else will do.

I can be charming. I’m a flirt. I’m funny, and I’ll make you want to smile along with me. Trust me. I know this about myself.

I’m the insatiable optimistic sister. Smart enough to know better and old enough to recognize real love. Lethal combo if you ask me…

I went on blind dates with my friends loser single friends. Ugh…. I’ll forever remain on three holiday cookie lists purely due to the aftermath of the blind dates they set me up on. Ugh. If you wouldn’t date him yourself, don’t set your dear girlfriend up with him. Seriously. There’s a reason I’ve never set a friend up with a guy. If he’s cool- then I probably wanted to date him myself and if he’s not then I don’t want either of us to waste our time.

I want all of my darling favorite women to find their “lobster”….

because I found mine….

He’s back!!!

Pouring a million and one beers while pasting a smile on my face, isn’t easy. I’m gloomy… heartbroken even.

I look up… and in a flash of light blue, my favorite man walks back into my (every other) least favorite night at work.

Along with the smile I’d lost.

This man… this perfect example of what I’d order if I could hand design the ideal man.

He’s clean cut, clean shaven… and he smells like heaven. Just standing across from him makes me want to buy stock in Gillette. Every man should be this edible. This man can dress me into submission, ironed collars, neckties… fuck… I could watch him get dressed every day and not get bored.

Or better yet?


He’s dangerously smart, and can turn me on simply by talking to me. He starts dropping big words and my clothes fall off. Oops. His text messages are like personalized porn because his spelling makes me weak in the knees. Punctuated even, gulp.

He’s the very definition of my type, and my very favorite man to kiss.

He’s not well rounded, he’s the real deal. The whole package. Great dad and all.

My two favorite customers have teased me about my Smartypants crush for months… after he went missing in March. Gone. Vanished. Exponentially increasing the suffering of what’s already my least favorite night at work. I gave up looking for him about a month ago… we talk about him every Tuesday and this is no exception.

R- Oooh this is Smartypants night.

J- No… he’s gone. He never came back.

R- He’s crazy, the chemistry is tangible.

J- Hush, you’re killing me. I tried- but thanks- that’s a compliment.

I look up….and the man walks in…. and I’m beaming… and my friends turn… and start laughing.

R- Smartypants is BACK.

His friend immediately teases me, because it must be written all over my face.

A- Well, well, look at that smile. Where’s mine?

J- Sorry, I have a favorite, I can’t lie.

He’s smiley gorgeous…. and losing trivia!


I look at him sideways and he starts laughing. I’m so ridiculously attracted to him it’s embarrassing.

There’s only one Smartypants, and he does NOT lose trivia.

J- Uh oh… I might have to rename you?!?!

He laughs… and ends up winning.

Be still my heart.

IF only they were all Smartypants… but they’re not- and I’m delighted to see him again.

Walking across the street in the balmy warm summer rain after work, thankful for the reminder that the last miserable month isn’t the first thing on my mind anymore.

He may as well have walked in wearing nothing but frosting and carrying lit candles.

Happy Birthday to Me.