Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…


It’s no secret that I’m afflicted by the fine print of this man. In trying to shake it off, I’ve gone to great lengths. I asked him what cologne he wears and bought a bottle for myself. I made the grave error of spraying it on my sheets one night and the rest is sleepless history. Being wrapped up in the scent of him without the beautiful physicality of his […]

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I’m a hopeless romantic. I met a young couple a few years ago when I was serving, that had made their wedding rings out of silver dollars. That’s my idea of a perfect ring. You shouldn’t have to spend a fortune on the ring- it should be an incredible joy to marry the love of your life. The only way I’d do it again was if I felt that strongly. […]

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Clam Bait

I- I don’t like soup. I like chowder. Clam chowder, corn chowder, etc… NOT soup. J- You’re splitting hairs. If you put it in a bowl and eat it with a spoon, it’s soup. Call it what you want, but it’s still soup. I- Negative. I’ve never had clam soup. Never had corn soup. That’s chowder. Never had bean soup either… that’s chili. J- I’ve actually never made clam chowder. […]

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On a rainy day by the sea, my beautiful Anthony was laid to rest. Work, motherhood and heartache kept me from wanting to be there in person. I spoke to his mother in the dark hours of the morning yesterday when she forgot the time difference, wanted to call and tell me how much she wished I were there and to remind me how much he loved me. It’s the […]

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It’s been a long fucking week. I’ve been painting a happy face on and going through the motions all day, only to come home and freeze, entirely. The dishes have piled up, the washing machine stands silent and my bathroom sink reminds me of the gas station. My silent phone haunts me because I feel such a huge absence of Anthony. Even his daily infernal text message: A- Good morning […]

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