Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…

Mama Knows.

M- Wait. You just gave all that up? All that you worked for… for a …. man??? 15 years because he can’t catch on, gone? J- It’s a blessing. It’s time. M- Actually, it’s foolish. You don’t sacrifice income for anyone, especially a man who can’t get it together and figure out how fucking lucky he is to have you. You DEFINITELY don’t give anything up for that. J- I’m […]

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Dear Lover,

I’ve spent years trying to figure out how to put a bookend on this blog. So many people I DON’T want to read this, do. I can’t stop that, and it changes the way that I write. I leave things out and this is truly for me and no one else. I’m not in need of validation, I’m just a wordy girl with a heart overflowing in adjectives. This has […]

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Mr. Tinder

I was sick with nerves by the time 6 o clock rolled around yesterday. I don’t know why, but first dates cripple me. I’m incredibly shy by nature and first dates always feel like a glorified job interview. My little sister came to babysit the Dumpling and hugged me tightly. S- I know you’re nervous, but don’t be! You’re a beautiful, funny, strong and successful woman. It’s really brave and […]

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First date hesitation.

Since I gave Mr. Tinder my number, I’ve woken up to great stuff. Funny stories he thinks I might like, updates about the political debates and pictures of him out hiking somewhere wonderful. Daily good morning wishes, frosted with a compliment or three. I never text him first…. or last for that matter. He responds instantly any time I do. I remember now how to play all these dumb games […]

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I’m smug and satisfied today. I don’t appreciate being toyed with and this situation has left me sleepless, hung over and fucking pathetic. I’ve been swimming in self pity and sadness and have earned a few nicknames of my own… nevermind the dozen pounds I’ve tacked on lately trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I finally fucked him out of my system like I desperately needed to and […]

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