30 Days of Truth, Day 18

30 Days of Truth,Day 18 – Your views on gay marriage.

***Disclaimer*** My view on marriage in general is that I find it rather unhealthy for all parties involved. Sorry to those of you who’ve chosen a life sentence- I just don’t personally want one for myself. As I’ve said in the past… I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I like steak and shrimp too. I don’t want to eat either every day for the rest of my life. I like a variety of things, and that includes men. So shoot me. I’m not saying you can’t eat PB&J every day- just that I don’t want to. All those statements fly right out the window should Reggie Bush come knocking on my door. So I suppose we all have our breaking point?

That said. I think anyone who denies the right to eternal bitching and moaning to anyone, is a bigoted asshole. It makes no difference if there are two penises or two vaginas in the marital bed, marriage is difficult, and anyone who knowingly and willingly wants to enter into captivity is absolutely welcome to, in my opinion. Better them than me, for that matter.

What’s the big threat, anyway? Does a gay marriage threaten, in any way, any lunatic bible beating Christian marriage? No. I don’t understand the insanity behind their argument. How does it hurt anyone? Other than the couple who willing give up the the thrill of the chase and new sex? I could see the logic in a thrice divorced wealthy businessman who has lost everything, begging his friends to reconsider. Telling them all the reasons NOT to get married. I could get behind that guy. Hell I could help him sharpen his argument.

A boring fat white fuck who does nothing but mow his lawn, preach the gospel and utter homophobic idiocy? No. Not my guy. That guy can sit back in his dirty armchair with his snot-nosed kids while enjoying his welfare check funded by the gay couple fighting for the right to the same nightmare- and he can fuck right off. Nobody should be listening to that guy.

We all know the poster children of the anti-gay marriage movement. It’s not the cream of the crop, by anyone’s standards. These are the white trash, racist, homophobic nightmares you will only find in the good old USA. The trailer trash of hurricane alley. Those folks. Why are we even considering taking opinions from the lowest rung on the food chain?

I’d rather go with the guy that knows Dolce from Gucci. The guy that dresses so well we know he’s gay just by how beautiful he looks. That guy. The guy that knows theater, and the difference between porcini & oyster mushrooms.Give me the most flamboyant and stereotypically gay man over any white trash dirtbag bible beater.

How is this even an argument?

Anyone who loves someone so much they’re willing to give up everyone & everything else- to be with that person? Deserves to try.

If only to learn that they should have listened to me in the first place.

Trust me…. variety is the spice of life.


30 Days of Truth, Day 11

30 Days of Truth, Day 11 – Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

My pretty green eyes. Courtesy of my Grandma, by way of my mother. They run in my family, and only with the girls. My daughter has her own lovely version. My Grandma passed away when I was 12, and there’s something pretty wonderful about looking in the mirror and seeing the same green eyes she had, smiling back at me. It makes missing her a little easier, and I’m happy they continue on in my daughter.


30 Days of Truth, Day 10

30 Days of Truth, Day 10 – Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I don’t have a single person in my life anymore that I need to let go or wish I didn’t know. I’ve lost some friends in the past year that I couldn’t handle anymore- but it hasn’t been a bad thing- it’s been a blessing while at the same time knowing I’d be happy to have them in my life again, but on equal terms. The older I get, the easier it is to make decisions that improve my life, instead of add to the already ridiculous level of stress in my life.

My life is less stressful than it’s been in years. I treasure the friends I have in my life and I’ve let go of the people that make life harder.


30 Days of Truth, Day 4

30 Days of Truth-Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.

Yikes… this may be more than anyone wants to read. WTF was I thinking in agreeing to all this self introspection for the world to see? At any rate. I promised. I’m painfully honest… and I believe that any time you share your own story, you have the opportunity to help someone else share theirs.

I’m a rape survivor. I was 15, and he was a friend of the family. Close friend actually. I didn’t tell my mom for a while because I knew how devastated she’d be on so many different levels. She’d sent me to New York for a week to stay with Jeff. Thinking he was going to show me the big city. I know she didn’t know what she was sending me into- I know she still feels horrible.

When I got back from New York, I fought and fought with her about every single thing, and ended up getting really sick. When I finally told her I think she probably thought I was losing my mind. I may have been. It was so much to tell and so much easier if I didn’t. Telling made it real…and it opened cans of worms I didn’t want to open.

I had to be interviewed by a detective… and had to be absolutely precise in every detail, down to the color of my panties. It was awful. I kept trying to skip over things, and my mom was sitting in the room, sobbing. They finally had her leave, which made it a lot easier. I refused the physical exam. Thank God- the day had been bad enough at that point.

I wanted to put it behind me, not talk about it. My mom put me in counseling. Which was more boring than anything I can even describe. Putting it behind me worked a lot better- and I think part of growing up in a family with open communication meant I never thought it was my fault. I always knew it was his failing- even if I was the one who ultimately was affected by it.

I moved on… with a few scars… for sure. I can’t stand facial hair… because he had it. The sensation of facial hair on my neck or my face or my thighs… makes me want to throw up. Which sucks. Damn it. I don’t like having a life long scar from him. It frustrates me….not to mention the men in my life who are slaves to the razor.

Certain Beatles songs too… I can’t hear them…so I just avoid the Beatles entirely.

I’m incredibly forgiving and have never been one to hold a grudge. With the exception of Jeff. He stole my childhood in a lot of ways. I wrote him one ranting angry letter, once, on the urging of my counselor. I don’t know if she mailed it- I never heard from him after he was arrested.

Part of growing up is learning how things can affect you but they don’t have to change you. I can forgive him for almost everything. I’m pretty happy- pretty successful- and love clean shaven men better anyway.I forgive him for violating my trust and the trust of my mother.

But damn him for ruining the Beatles.