Tag Archives: Delicious

30 Days of Truth, Day 3

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30 Days of Truth, Day 3- Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This is some sort of blog torture… I have plenty to forgive myself for… and seeing as I’m feeling penitent… I figure a list works better than anything, right?

  • I have to forgive myself for buying my kids those stupid Nintendo DS things. I read constantly as a kid and every time I see my daughter playing on it I realize she would be reading if I hadn’t bought it. Big over-achiever mom thing- and I should forgive myself- she loves it- and we have fun playing with it together too.
  • I have to forgive myself for wasting 7 years on a dirty hippie. I’m a die-hard optimist… and am too accepting. I had picket fences in mind and he was more focused on a guerrilla grow. It was doomed from the beginning- but I should forgive myself for being responsible for those lost years. We are both responsible. Actually no, it’s his fault.
  • I have to forgive myself, yet again, for not planting more carrots & beets. I’m only one person- I can only plant so much… but I kick myself every year for not planting more.
  • I have to forgive myself for the shark… and for being weak…naughty…and reckless. It’s been a long time since I fell in love- and I enjoyed every minute of it…well…sort of. I was absolutely asking for the torture- and can’t beat myself up for ruining the whole thing… it’s what needed to happen.
  • Along those same lines- I have to forgive myself for flirting with Delicious, because hell… who wouldn’t?
  • I have to forgive myself my complete and total lack of judgment this weekend… because I’ve been put to extreme levels of sexual frustration in the last few months- and hate me for saying it- but it was damn good sex and I feel a million times better. So there. Hate me. Does it really matter at this point?
  • I have to forgive myself for planting more than I could take care of. It’s given me back my body though- and I’m completely addicted to exercise as a result… so if you think about it… the garden has extended my life expectancy and improved my sex life. Three cheers for the gym!

So I have more than a few things… in fact I could keep going but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t go out and pick the tomatoes that ripened today, because they’d be gone after tonight.

and then I’d have to make a whole new list… :)

Mmm… soup.

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I make the best soup. In fact it’s consistently one of the things my ex’s complain about missing.

E- You really make the best soup… Ohhhh and chicken pot pie…etc…

Those are the two I always hear.

For me it’s comfort food. Fresh veggies- and soup takes a while- for sure- but it’s my own fault considering I make enough for an army.

Hungry? Come on over… I can feed about 55… LOL :)

Riiiiiiip.

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You have to love a man that actually tears your clothes off…damn though… I really liked that shirt.

At any rate… Paybacks are a bitch- and pity the man men who forget that.

My lousy ex stole my boat today. Went to the DMV a few days ago and illegally licensed it. Drove it away- with the law behind him. God pray for him- because he will be paying for stealing from me, for the rest of time.I’m not at all inclined to keep his nasty secrets anymore- and he has MANY. All of which are public information, now.

Dear, Solar, Brett, whoever you are

Fucking you in the ass with the strap-on you bought for me was the worst sexual experience of my whole life. I pity the poor woman who gets to use it next… Gag. Maybe it should have prepared me for you finding a man on Adult Friend Finder to join us in bed? An eye-opener FOR SURE. I’m sort of sad now that I didn’t want to do it, those pictures would be PRICELESS.

XO- Your worst nightmare :)

Those pictures would have probably been priceless enough that I would still have my boat. Thankfully I had enough horror running through my veins at the thought of seeing another man’s face over his shoulder in bed with me… that I put an end to his little venture.

Shouldn’t steal, dirty hippie. Not from me, at the very least. From my children though? That will really cost him dearly.

I have nasty naked pictures of him- including some he would NEVER want anybody to see. You don’t piss off someone holding what I’m holding. Because now I’m sharing what I’m holding. With EVERYONE.

And the shark…. Oh boy. Where to begin? Where to end? Torture sucks, thanks. Do you hate me, or what? I’m positive I never told you I like to suffer.

Suffice it to say- I sort of love my cute little white halter shirt… now a scandalous vest of some sort.

I’m at least thigh deep in delicious and up to my neck in trouble….possibly in need of a chaperon…

Because I’m pissed off, sexually frustrated and constantly turned on. In my sexual prime and not having sex. Which leaves me ridiculously primal.

I’m having sex on that mattress of his this weekend if I have to pay for it… and I’m taking pictures… and I’m sending them to him.

with my cute little vest too.

I ♥ Pretty Boys

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and they were everywhere last night. My favorite adorable bartender came over to us.

T- That guy wants to buy you anything you want-

J- hmm… Double Goose on the rocks, one and only please :)

My friend is laughing, giggling out her order to the adorable bartender. Too cute.

I walk over to thank him and he’s just cute as hell. Reminds me of Rupert Everett in My Best Friend’s Wedding. Really cute- and verrrrrry interested. Polite small talk…

J- I’m a mommy- I have two kids. 15 & 10.

C- You have a teenager? How old are you?

J- 34

C- No WAY! You don’t look that old.

Hmm… funny. Sort of. He’s in pinstripes…mmmm blue and white… a jacket even. Here from New York for a wedding.

and in walks my shark. Goodness. When it rains… it pours. He’s smiling at me, but I know he’s watching and I’m damn sure going to flirt shamelessly. Plus the guy is hot as hell and well dressed. Beautiful nails… nice teeth. Damn I’m a sucker for a pretty boy. It’s half the cause of my shark habit. Well dressed men are confident- which is irresistible. If I married a man that wore a suit every day? I’d die happy.

That whole metrosexual trend was the best thing to ever happen to men. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Best show ever. There is nothing better than a well kept man. Love it. Yummy. It makes me happy to be a girl.

But the best part? He can dance. In fact he’s dipping me low enough that My hair is touching the floor. I love a man that can dance. Love it, love it, love it. This guy is practically gift wrapped for me.

Only he’s 27 and lives on the opposite side of the country… ahhh well. What can you do- nobody’s perfect. I had the very best time with him and can feel every muscle in my body after dancing with him all night.

I live in a hippy wasteland. With not many ironed men in sight. It’s very sad to us pretty boy aficionados.

I got my fix last night, that’s for sure.

God Bless Coleman, what a cutie, and way to iron.

and way to help a girl torture the boy she really wants. XO