Tag Archives: Flintstone

Dinner at Eleven…

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I had way too much fun grocery shopping today…

Just the click, click, click of my heels on the floor at Super 1 was a turn on. I was hungry & high on Flintstone in a new grocery store. An expensive habit.

Because for me… turned on= inspired.

It unleashes my inner 50′s housewife and I cook & bake myself into domestic bliss. My friends laughed about it when he left after I’d met him…

S- I feel bad for the guy. He did such a good job and he’s missing the fruits of his labors.

M- Shhhh… just be thankful we don’t have to share with him. What are you making?

J- Lemon Bars… and Vanilla bean cupcakes… and honey wheat bread.

S- That looks like marshmallows?

J- Oh yeah- that too.

M- Good Gawd I love this man.

I’d been baking for 3 days and my friends were joking about pooling their money to send me to see him when I’d run out of inspiration.

My trip to Super 1 today was definitely inspirational…and in my heightened state I ended up with oyster mushrooms, fresh prawns… and I made pesto earlier…

So my cute little premade roasted portabello mushroom & spinach frozen pizza is now absolutely obscenely divine.

and I’m eating dinner at nearly 11…. and I have to work tomorrow or I’d be baking.

:)

I ♥ Super 1 Foods

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I must confess…

I was tempted to take my shoes off to touch my bare feet to the floor responsible for bringing Flintstone to my small town…

I’m a loyal Super1 shopper from here on out.

He wont be here for my birthday… :( but I’m fully committed to tempt him until he gets on a plane- business trip or otherwise.Anticipation is better than crack. Not that I’m a crackhead.

So I walked through the store with a big shit-eating grin on my face… and before I knew it… the creepers came out. Lately I’ve started glaring at them- but nobody could touch my Flintstone high on my first walk through the store- so I was grinning at them like a fool.

I picked out all sorts of things I don’t usually eat- which is typical when I’m crushing and shopping at the same time.

Greek olives…brie…potato salad…chocolate, chocolate & more chocolate…dulce de leche Häagen-Dazs… and on. Crazy infatuated shopper.

Inspired to bake again though, thank heavens because I’m on duty tonight so that I can enjoy my birthday party on Friday. Invitations are done- and match my dress… too cute.

A few of my “friends” are not coming because they’re boycotting my favorite bar… What kind of shitty friend is that? Granted, I’m having it there because I want them to have to go and give it a chance without having a chip on their shoulders… but if they’re that petty? To hell with them.  :)

That just means more penis cake for the rest of us.

I’m still blowing out candles, dammit- wishing for Flintstone in a red tie… to match my cute little red dress…. so I throw another candle in the cart. There’s power in numbers, right?

I look in the cart and realize I’m not even paying attention to what I throw in- and I need to get out of there.Pushed the cart to the front of the line to pay. You know you live in a small town when you run out to any new business that opens, the first day….and see all your friends & family. I feel someone tap on my shoulder and think it must be another friend-

and it’s a really cute stranger.

So I’m deer in the headlights- of course. I must look terrified because he starts to apologize…

K- Ohh sorry- I just- Oh um.. HI my name is Kevin.

J- Oh- hi- Have we met?

K- No- sorry- oh- my mom said I should just come over and introduce myself- I told her she was insane and the look on your face confirms it.

Poor guy- he has no idea I’m relearning how to talk to men.I smiled at him and the relief on his face was obvious

J- Sorry, I was just a little out of it. Hi- my name is Jenni

K- So I’m in town for the summer and I don’t know anyone and well, you’re really nice.

J- Nice? Are ya sure?

K- Ok, cute.

J- Well thank you- I’m flattered.

K- Here’s my number. Call me if you want, I want you to.

I’m speechless and I have to pay the lady. I pay for my groceries and wave goodbye.

I don’t know what it is, but I’m attracting all sorts of bold men these days- thanks be to God.

Mr. Goodwill, Heath from the bar & now Kevin… proof that there are still confident men in the world.

They’re just not the one I want.

Thank you Super 1- for bringing my favorite bold man to town, and now the opportunity to really enjoy grocery shopping. Phone numbers at the check out line even- I’m impressed.

Flintstone, defined.

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I’ve gotten a dozen emails asking who this mysterious man is- and why I refer to him as Flintstone…

Here ya go- complete with lyrics.

I talked to him last night and he mentioned it too…

R- Why Flintstone?

J- Um…

R- Yes?

J- Remember?… I sang it to you at one point.

R- I wasn’t really paying attention to the music.

J- Listen to it- because then you’ll understand completely.

Because the man is tall and gorgeous and definitely doesn’t look like  Mr. Flintstone. He’s charming and funny- definitely not a cave man…

But trust me… the name fits like we do.

Perfectly.

:) :) :)

Blow out your candles…

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J- I’ll be blowing out candles all week, trying to turn the odds in my favor…

F- It’ll work, what’s the latest I can come this week to see you?

J- Independence day… and God Bless America- you are exactly what I wanted for my birthday… and I was there for yours, its only fair.

F- So I’m gonna be your boy toy the whole time I’m there?

J- You don’t have to be… but you’ll want to.

F- I’m all yours to use & abuse. Does that mean you can spend a few days in Spokane with me?

J- Yes, absolutely.

F- Those seductive eyes of yours kill me.

J- What a way to go though, right?

F- I’ll see you soon- get some rest.

How the hell do you go to sleep after that? I got up- washed the dishes and ran 3 miles. Decided to knit a baby hat… mated socks… and swept off the deck under the light of the full moon.

I feel like someone left me on a roller coaster by accident. Excited…nervous…and still reeling.

Mr. Flintstone is precisely what I need- and I’m shaking in my shoes at the thought.

He’s the first man I ever slept with- fairly… immediately. To be delicate, lol. I told him I wasn’t that kind of girl so he invited me on multiple dates… within the 3 days he had left in town. I had promised myself not to go there… but as they say… Size matters…AND…he’s incredibly cute & charming, nicely dressed, and he smells good… I earned my slut badge, for sure. Oops.

I really thought about it too… At war with my conscience. Kiss him goodbye and leave. Quickly. You’re entering dangerous temptation territory. At the same time… I really like him…and he’s not from here…and he’s leaving soon…and WOW…and you’re in your thirties and haven’t done this before? What’s stopping you?

Convinced myself it was a horrible idea and I was going to be sad about it at some point- but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to shake off my bad break-up, and it had been months…

Thank heavens for bad choices, because I had the time of my life.

Spoiled by a real gentleman, who even remembered what I’d said and brought my favorite wine to the house for dinner the next night… Big points with me- Women are all about the little details. It shows you’re interested enough to pay attention to what we’re saying. It inspires us to please you…

He’s a good shark…  a rare & elusive Mr. Right. The type of guy that you hang out with and realize… wow, they do exist. The whole package. After hanging out with him I walked away from it thinking…what on earth was I doing putting up with all that garbage from my ex??? He showed me how much fun it’s supposed to be. Ruined me a little too.

So blow out a candle and make a wish for me. I’d like Flintstone, with a big red bow, for my birthday. Please.

Mr. Flintstone…

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Who knew how liberating it could be to embrace every single fabulous inch of your sexuality? After getting out of a long term relationship I think it can be hard to remember what it was to be… you. There’s nothing like a solid reminder.

Remember what you used to be? Just you? Without the oppression of a partner you don’t want to be with anymore? Without the guilt- or the obligation?  Just you- whatever you want to be?  A fresh start, a clean slate.The opportunity to change your life. To be happy :) I have a few suggestions for my favorite girls… my favorite women.

Shave… put on a dress, wear heels, lipstick,  perfume. Exercise the many blessings of being born a girl. I admit I’m ultra feminine- while being quite capable with power tools (with the exception of the circular saw- which scares the shit out of me :) ) I’d be so damn mad if all I had were different variations of solid & striped shirts to choose from. We get pink- and polka dots… rhinestones and cute little strappy back dresses with matching strappy shoes. Fishnet thigh highs and lace up corsets. Lingerie for days… in any and every color we want. Men have the most pathetic assortment of lingerie. Boxers? Tighty-Whiteys? Or cute little elephant trunk cock stocking. Choices, choices.

You can approach any new opportunity fearfully- bound by insecurities born of your past- or you can just live it. After all- do you think you will regret the things you did or the things you were too afraid to do?

I went for it… Jumped in with both feet… and learned a few lessons.Because after all- I never do anything the easy way… and what fun would it be if there weren’t a few painful lessons in there too? Pain isn’t always bad.

1. You determine the value people place on you. If you accept anything- they offer you less. If you respect yourself and expect more- people either give it to you or they don’t bother you to begin with. Phenomenal way to meet great people and a hell of a way to weed out the assholes, if you ask me. Just be aware that if you lower your expectations- you are going to suffer a little… it’s only natural. The same thing happens when you raise them. It pisses off the people accustomed to taking advantage of you.

2. It’s important to recognize when you’re jumping WAY outside of your norm. There are consequences- chances are you will not have the heart for some of it- which isn’t a bad thing. It’s OK to be sensitive- and it’s really really ok to be a little regretful when reality hits. Roll the dice if you will – but know there’s a cost for rolling them. Go ahead and cry about it… tears are healthy- call me if you need a shoulder – I’ll understand.

3. Embrace your inner slut- she’s a hell of a lot of fun and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m not encouraging you to run out and be one- just embrace her- and let her spice up your life a little. Don’t get carried away- there’s nothing at all attractive about a girl that gets around and I think if you run out of digits to count your conquests- you need to slow your roll.  I can still count mine on my fingers, thankyouverymuch.

4. If it sounds like a bad idea, and it feels like it’s probably a bad idea… it might actually be the best idea you ever had. :) It may hurt at some point- but trust me… it may be very very worthwhile at other times. Roll those dice… blame me.You won’t ever regret it- I promise.

5. You are a girl- your mama’s baby. Be gentle with your heart- and remember that girlie feelings are ridiculous to navigate and more fragile than butterfly wings- there’s no right answer, and we all feel insecure. Damn Cosmopolitan. We all need 20 new tips to wow a man, every month? Seriously? I’m confident in my game- they can keep those scary emaciated boy-girls. I love a woman with thighs and I don’t bat for both teams. Nothing is attractive about a hungry woman. Love your body- love yourself.

6. Ride it like you stole it. You only live once. Make it count. :P