It’s that time again.
The crappy situation with Mr. Boyfriend is completely my fault. I should have been more clear about needing my space. I did have a great time with him- but he seriously choked the life out of it. You can’t compliment someone constantly. It starts to make them feel uncomfortable. There has to be a balance- and there wasn’t one in this situation. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever dated- literally- but. I feel caged. I feel a little too pursued. I feel suffocated.
I miss being single. I don’t think I knew what I was getting into. I don’t have time to be this important to someone. I don’t want to disappoint someone because I have friends I want to hang out with. I want my space and my freedom, back. I don’t intend to give it away for a while.
and when I do? I’m going to be a little smarter after being with him because I know that nice guys do exist, and I know that it’s wonderful to have someone be nice to you, and accept you just as you are. It’s worth holding out for. We all deserve it if we make the same effort to be a good partner.He was nothing but nice to me.
But….
My life went from being completely my own to talking to someone EVERY day. I was on overload. The whole thing went from 0-60 in a second. I didn’t have time to catch my breath, and I wasn’t sure what to say. He got pissy with me for not wanting him to touch me in public… I went from being single, to being someone’s property…
and I didn’t like it… but I did like him- and I didn’t intend to hurt him. MEA CULPA. My fault, but how on earth do you say to someone “I don’t like being someone’s girlfriend” ??? I don’t know. Certainly in a nicer way than I did.
Lesson learned & the most sincere of apologies for my being a bitch… but dude…Mr. Boyfriend… Listen up.
You decided to read my blog and I’m really sorry if that’s hurt your feelings… but I’m sure you’ve heard to be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it. You went looking for answers- and got them. Shocker, huh? Putting me in the position to have to ask you to ease up, on a few different occasions, and when we’ve only been dating for 3 weeks? Over the top.
Asking me to call you so you can walk up and meet me at my car to avoid me walking down town alone? We’re talking 2 blocks. Hmm. I get where you’re going with it- but you need to hear loudly how annoying that is. I’m 34, not 18. I’ve been divorced since 2003 and not seeing anyone since November 09. I walk alone. I’m not afraid. I don’t need a man to walk me around, and if I do want you to? I’ll ask. I own my own power tools. I don’t need help with everything. I gave up on the idea of the knight on a white horse a looooong time ago. Relax…and don’t ever call your girlfriend Woman. Ugh. That’s truly offensive- even though it’s an accurate distinction. I didn’t call you because I don’t know what to say.
No we’re not going to keep dating. You read my journal now. I’d be tempted too often to hurt you with it. You’d read about the Shark and be fucking furious… and you’d never know if I was making it up or not. You’d go crazy wondering and you’d drive me insane. Ultimately you just wont listen to me… and thinking about you searching for my blog? Makes me feel like I had a stalker, not a boyfriend.
Sorry. Mea Culpa.
