Listen to Mr. Man Card…

My favorite nice guy, the illustrious Mr. Man Card, came to hang out with us last night while I went on a Crown Royal sewing bender.

With the bags… not the booze.

A challenge to see if I could sew a hat. I looked for hours and couldn’t find a pattern. I looked at the pile of bags I had and decided to just go for it. Made myself a cocktail and started cutting.

It’s effing awesome, if I do say so myself… and lined in cashmere, thankyouverymuch.

We made him model them, and because he’s the nicest guy ever… he obliges us.

Behold… my Crown Royal… crown hat… and my apron…

Running out of things to sew leaves me with a few dozen internet dating emails to check, and my phone is blowing up with text messages from Mr. Bartender.

At which point, and mid-giggle trying to read him the latest email… he looks at me and shakes his head.

R- Jenni… Oh my god. You LIKE douche bags. Oh no. Aw hell.

J- Oh stop. He’s nice.

R- He’s whiny, and omg are you kidding me? A bartender? You know who he looks like?

J- Shut up Robby.

R- I’m not kidding. No more douche bags. You’re a nice girl, no more.

I’m reading the emails out loud and he’s reading my text messages and whining. lol… and I read the last one and he covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

R- NO. NO. This is just wrong. No. I won’t let you anymore. This has to stop. No losers, and NO douche bags. Jeeez. What do you do in your spare time besides crush hearts and delude weirdos?

J- Um.

R- Right… and he’s just the same. Damn it. I’m helping you from here on out. No more of this.

Just a crazy sister-wife date, in ten minutes.

PRAY it’s funny, I’ve had a long day.

Behold… the perfect crazy date.

I don’t even know where to start, other than to walk you down the same path I took to find Josh.

I logged in to check the latest onslaught of email in internet dating world.

Weird old guy, weird old guy, 21 year old frat boy, crazy dad of 7 again, creepy guy from Venezuela again, and Josh.

“you look so sexy and you have a wild side just waiting to come out.I can see it in your eyes.let go and have fun!Josh”

Attached is a picture of him with his wife & two kids… as in babies. WTF?

I click on his profile, knowing a good crazy crackpot when I sense one… and up pops his profile. ooooh yes… we have a winner.

My self-summary
recently reunited with my wife and soooo happy! this site has definatly shown me how lucky i am to have a real woman.Yes we both believe a man can have more than one wife but it must be from God and not us.And to all you feminists who love to send me hate mail just stop.If a man can only have one wife then i suppose you condem half the women in the world to never being married or having children since the statistics show us that there are two women born on earth for every one man.I guess in your mind they are shit out of luck!Not to mention that almost every man in the bible had more than one wife.Im not christian but if you are then how do you explain that?

What I’m doing with my life

I am currently writing a book on theology.I went to school for cosmetology but haven’t got my license in montana yet since the hours are more than colorado where i just moved from.I also do construction and ceramic tile for extra cash.I love to play guitar for fun and would like to start up a band again.

See? You can’t make this shit up- it’s this funny. This dude can dye my hair, fill my nails and save my soul, on a first date?

All in the hopes I may end up a sister wife to an unemployed polygamist.

And they say all the good men are taken…

Pshaw…

This should be interesting.