Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…

Coping.

I’m not the best at taking advice. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so stubborn or what? Either way, I take the path less followed and learn the hard way more often than not. I’ll do it myself or die trying. Consequently, I’ve done some very stupid shit. I rewired the garage, for instance. Complete with a whole new breaker box, new wire and outlets… ugh. That was a […]

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Gone.

I lost my gay husband yesterday. I spent half the day on the phone with him, trying to talk him out of the jealousy that cripples him. I’ve had an unfaithful partner and know all too well how awful it feels to lay awake at night, wondering where they are. Wondering why you aren’t enough and why someone else is. Jealousy can ruin everything and insecurity is debilitating. When you […]

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Reality Check.

What do you think middle age is? I never thought I’d be middle aged at 43… but I still don’t feel like an adult. He called me middle aged today. The floor fell out of my soul. This man. This beautiful creature that makes me feel like I’m 12, at most… referred to me as middle aged. I’m older than him and for the first time in my life, I’m […]

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The soup.

I popped the cork on the bottle as silently as I could and filled a pint glass with cheap champagne. Gulping Cook’s is next level suffering and combined with a fever it’s a miracle I didn’t just die on the spot. With his tea on the stove, soup stock simmering and a pint of Cook’s going down (painfully) quickly, I faced the task at hand. I had to take all […]

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Fermented obsession

The thing about having a garden and being moderately OCD is that I grow things I don’t eat, purely for color and shape. I end up with a lot of shallots, cabbage, beets, and so on… Some of it takes up a huge amount of space after you have harvested the garden for frost. 8 cabbages, for instance. I was trying to juggle other groceries in amongst the giant purple […]

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