Another Beautiful Day In Chaos

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't…

Repost: My Favorite Bookmark

Eight years ago, my beloved friend wrote this for me. I found it yesterday in the archives while I was looking for something else. I haven’t checked if his links connect to anything and some of it may be scandalous as hell, but it’s such an incredible reminder to tell your friends and family how much you love about them, and why. Write it down. It may be all they […]

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Tease

Why sugar coat it? If the shoe fits… he should have to wear ’em both. I am so fucking sick of being toyed with, led on and tormented that I’m about to punch him in the ballsack. If I don’t get to play with it, neither should he. I- You know what sounds good? Indeed I do…. but I’m not going near that with a 10 foot pole. J- Yeah, […]

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Coping.

I’m not the best at taking advice. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so stubborn or what? Either way, I take the path less followed and learn the hard way more often than not. I’ll do it myself or die trying. Consequently, I’ve done some very stupid shit. I rewired the garage, for instance. Complete with a whole new breaker box, new wire and outlets… ugh. That was a […]

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Gone.

I lost my gay husband yesterday. I spent half the day on the phone with him, trying to talk him out of the jealousy that cripples him. I’ve had an unfaithful partner and know all too well how awful it feels to lay awake at night, wondering where they are. Wondering why you aren’t enough and why someone else is. Jealousy can ruin everything and insecurity is debilitating. When you […]

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Reality Check.

What do you think middle age is? I never thought I’d be middle aged at 43… but I still don’t feel like an adult. He called me middle aged today. The floor fell out of my soul. This man. This beautiful creature that makes me feel like I’m 12, at most… referred to me as middle aged. I’m older than him and for the first time in my life, I’m […]

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